When Asked To Identify Yourself

[ziero0]

Judge: "Will the defendant rise and state his name?"

Defendant: "If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al"

[woodman]

"Thirty days in the hole!" as the Judge pounds his gavel.

[ziero0]

"Thirty days in the hole!" as the Judge pounds his gavel.

Nonsense. A courtroom is the precise place where legal behavior is tolerated.

"If you'll be my bodyguard " ... .conditional acceptance
"I can be your long lost pal " ... substance in exchange for service
"I can call you Betty" ... call His Honor Betty when you want to refer to the terms of the contract
"and Betty" ... signifies performance by your part on the contract he has just accepted (don't want to give him time to refuse or modify)
"when you call me, you can call me Al" ... turn and walk out. He'll call you when he wants to perform bodyguard services

Now that is as perfect a contract as you ever care to engage in