Craigslist: What Happened to All the Nice Guys?

[G2Rad]

Kind of funy, found over here (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html)
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"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were ****ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ***.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ****ing want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

[G2Rad]

another perl from the same source ;D
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I caught a fly.
Shimmers green, red eyes.
Measures approximately 9mm by 5mm, flies great.
Want to give to a good home.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:yfP_GxW-O6oZ_M:http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/fly.jpg

[StackerKen]

the 1st one is way to real life to be funny...

the 2nd one cracked me up! :D

[k-os]

I know the dude that wrote that*. He had a crush on me for years, but unfortunately, he was not just slightly overweight, he was morbidly obese. He was awesome in every other way. Smart, funny, we had similar views on politics, he cooked, he was well-kept, he owned guns and even took me to a range to shoot an M16. He was easy going up until a point, and then put his foot down when I was being ridiculous. (A great trait in a guy!) Other than the weight, the only bad thing I have to say about him was that he was a little too materialistic. He had to have all of the latest greatest guy gadgets.

If he didn't have enough reason to lose weight on his own, I was not about to tell him to, or promise him anything if he did. Every six months we would have "the talk" whereby he expressed his feelings for me, and I told him that my feelings were not reciprocal. We would talk and cry and we'd be good for another 6 months until the next breakdown. I never made fun of him for his crush on me. I truly valued his friendship.

One year he came over to my house and met my roommate. Yadda yadda yadda - They got married. Even though he was my best friend and I introduced them, I was not invited to his wedding. His bride-to-be couldn't handle that he had a crush on me. (This was her fourth marriage at the age of 38. Not that it matters, just interesting.)

I hear they are doing just fine, and I am truly happy that he found someone who could love him just the way he is. Isn't that what everyone wants?


* Not really, but it may as well have been.

[madfranks]

That first story is also me. Back in my late high school/early college days, I had fallen in love with a girl in my church. We were best friends for years. I got along with her and her family perfectly. All this stuff:


always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were dating treated you.

was exactly what I did. I'd always be there to counsel her because of her douchebag boyfriends, always hoping for my chance. She told me numerous times how nobody understood her like I did, yada yada yada. Well one time after she broke up with her boyfriend I made my move, asked her out and she just didn't have the same feelings for me. We just stopped staying in touch and have really just drifted apart since. I'm married with kids now, and I have no clue what happened to her since all those years ago.

Ha ha, now I'm all nostalgic, haven't thought about this for a long, long time. :)

[k-os]

I'm married with kids now, and I have no clue what happened to her since all those years ago.


She's probably single, wondering what happened to all of the nice guys.

Or she is busy building her time machine. :)

[ximmy]

I remember hating you for loving me

[Ash_Williams]

Same old story, over and over. Most of us were probably pretty nice back in the day.

[G2Rad]

the 1st one is way to real life to be funny...

the 2nd one cracked me up! :D


and the third one I have deleted. too insensitive.

[Liquid]

Same old story, over and over. Most of us were probably pretty nice back in the day.


Yup, another guy who can relate. Except, in my case, the ending wasn't so well. The gal chose another guy over me, then was raped repeated by him, and caugh an incurable STD. She then went through therapy for about 6 months, then tried to get back together with me professing her everlasting love.

At that point, I wised up and figured that if she chose a rapist over me...a drug dealer, or prison thug, might be next on the list.

I think a lot of guys go through this transition maturing, especially men from stable homes. They see how their mom is treated and respected..then think that works for the young women they are infatuated with.

Only it backfires, then the young man learns to play the game and dates a lot of women in a carefree manner.

I think most guys wise up eventually, and realize they want to be with women that they can treat well, and not have to play those games..

Well adjusted women know that and they are out there.

[k-os]

Well adjusted women know that and they are out there.


Worth repeating. ;D

[MNeagle]

Well adjusted women know that and they are out there.


Worth repeating. ;D


TWICE!

[Heimdhal]

I know the dude that wrote that*. He had a crush on me for years, but unfortunately, he was not just slightly overweight, he was morbidly obese. He was awesome in every other way. Smart, funny, we had similar views on politics, he cooked, he was well-kept, he owned guns and even took me to a range to shoot an M16. He was easy going up until a point, and then put his foot down when I was being ridiculous. (A great trait in a guy!) Other than the weight, the only bad thing I have to say about him was that he was a little too materialistic. He had to have all of the latest greatest guy gadgets.

If he didn't have enough reason to lose weight on his own, I was not about to tell him to, or promise him anything if he did. Every six months we would have "the talk" whereby he expressed his feelings for me, and I told him that my feelings were not reciprocal. We would talk and cry and we'd be good for another 6 months until the next breakdown. I never made fun of him for his crush on me. I truly valued his friendship.

One year he came over to my house and met my roommate. Yadda yadda yadda - They got married. Even though he was my best friend and I introduced them, I was not invited to his wedding. His bride-to-be couldn't handle that he had a crush on me. (This was her fourth marriage at the age of 38. Not that it matters, just interesting.)

I hear they are doing just fine, and I am truly happy that he found someone who could love him just the way he is. Isn't that what everyone wants?


* Not really, but it may as well have been.


If fat guys bug ya, guess we wont be hanging out anymore.....



;)

[k-os]

If fat guys bug ya, guess we wont be hanging out anymore.....


His weight only kept me from being physically attracted to him, so, I think you, me and your wife are cool.

Hey . . . his name was your name too! Weird.

[Heimdhal]

If fat guys bug ya, guess we wont be hanging out anymore.....


His weight only kept me from being physically attracted to him, so, I think you, me and your wife are cool.

Hey . . . his name was your name too! Weird.


;D ;D ;D

[V10Silver]

Guys, nothing is more true than there are more tin cans in the dump. Once you realize that, you become inoculated to the female bullshit trap. Been there done that having more fun now.

[big country]

If fat guys bug ya, guess we wont be hanging out anymore.....


His weight only kept me from being physically attracted to him, so, I think you, me and your wife are cool.

Hey . . . his name was your name too! Weird.


That is wierd. I've never even met one person names Heimdhal...let alone TWO!

[1970 Silver Art]

The nice guys probably wised up and are avoiding the women who were probably just too shallow to realize what they had. I think the woman has a better chance of looking for a nice guy by building a time machine but that is just my opinion.

[General of Darkness]

I live in L.A. and most women here, even the fat ones think they're the shit. The problem that I have is that I'm a pimp, and all the crazies want me. ;D

[1970 Silver Art]

I live in L.A. and most women here, even the fat ones think they're the sh*t. The problem that I have is that I'm a pimp, and all the crazies want me. ;D


It must be sooooooooo hard out there for a pimp. ;D

:ROFL:

[k-os]

I live in L.A. and most women here, even the fat ones think they're the sh*t. The problem that I have is that I'm a pimp, and all the crazies want me. ;D


Pictures, or it's a lie. ;D

[Jenna]

In defense of the Nice Guy, here is my ode to you all..

Mr Nice Guy,

I met you a few nights back - I was taking my usual evening walk through the neighborhood when I noticed the 'for sale' sign was down on the house around the block and a new couple had moved in. You were there to welcome your friends to their new home and help them become situated. Do you remember me?

You were all standing on the porch as I was scurrying by with my head down. "Hello, are you my new neighbor?" someone asked. "My girl friend and I just bought this home. Name's Jake. Please, join us for a drink."

I paused. What the hell, I thought. Why not?

Mr Nice Guy, we all clustered out in front for an hour or two and introductions flew around while the others chatted with me; Jake, his girlfriend, and this other guy you had brought along with you - was his name Pete? - everyone was talking. But not you. Instead you leaned casually against your pickup and quietly listened. Until the conversation moved onto the economy, at which point you interjected, "Well, if the Federal Reserve would stop printing money out of nothing..." but your friends were all ready steering the discussion in another direction, fighting to talk over one another, except, unbeknownst to you, my full attention was now centered completely on you.

When my beer was gone, you noticed and reached over to offer to take the empty can away. When i declined a second drink, you shrugged, stuffed your hands in your pocket and smiled. When I looked at you a few times, you quickly looked away .. and then looked back when you didn't think I'd notice. (I did though. Every time.)

And when it was time to go and everyone had said their goodbyes, you finally stepped out in front of the others and introduced yourself. I blushed as you reached out because I was freezing and apologized for my cold hands. As you clasped my fingers in yours, you looked into my eyes and said, "Cold hands, warm heart, right?"

Mr Nice Guy, I am now completely smitten with you. :o

[ximmy]

;D

[goldmonkey]

In defense of the Nice Guy, here is my ode to you all..

Mr Nice Guy,

I met you a few nights back - I was taking my usual evening walk through the neighborhood when I noticed the 'for sale' sign was down on the house around the block and a new couple had moved in. You were there to welcome your friends to their new home and help them become situated. Do you remember me?

You were all standing on the porch as I was scurrying by with my head down. "Hello, are you my new neighbor?" someone asked. "My girl friend and I just bought this home. Name's Jake. Please, join us for a drink."

I paused. What the hell, I thought. Why not?

Mr Nice Guy, we all clustered out in front for an hour or two and introductions flew around while the others chatted with me; Jake, his girlfriend, and this other guy you had brought along with you - was his name Pete? - But not you. Instead you leaned casually against your pickup and quietly listened. Until the conversation moved onto the economy, at which point you interjected, "Well, if the Federal Reserve would stop printing money out of nothing..." but your friends were all ready steering the discussion in another direction, fighting to talk over one another, except, unbeknownst to you, my full attention was now centered completely on you.

When my beer was gone, you noticed and reached over to offer to take the empty can away. When i declined a second drink, you shrugged, stuffed your hands in your pocket and smiled. When I looked at you a few times, you quickly looked away .. and then looked back when you didn't think I'd notice. (I did though. Every time.)

And when it was time to go and everyone had said their goodbyes, you finally stepped out in front of the others and introduced yourself. I blushed as you reached out because I was freezing and apologized for my cold hands. As you clasped my fingers in yours, you looked into my eyes and said, "Cold hands, warm heart, right?"

Mr Nice Guy, I am now completely smitten with you. :o


It's been a while since I've decoded female speech, but I'll give it a go:

"In other words, Mr. Nice Guy, I'm done with my years of thug f*cking, my bio clock is ringing like a mofo, and I need a stable provider cause I'm sick of this workforce sh*t. Even though I'm only loyal to my options, you can be my sucker until I find a Big Better Deal™. I'll pretend I'm interested in you, but I'll get some on the side. You'll never know. I'll pretend I'm not a lush and decline another drink. Wink, Wink."

[Bullion_Bob]

She'll find a nice guy, then end up cheating on him with some one nights at a bar, because she wants a guy who can read her mind when she wants it read.

:D

[ximmy]

In defense of the Nice Guy, here is my ode to you all..

Mr Nice Guy,

I met you a few nights back - I was taking my usual evening walk through the neighborhood when I noticed the 'for sale' sign was down on the house around the block and a new couple had moved in. You were there to welcome your friends to their new home and help them become situated. Do you remember me?

You were all standing on the porch as I was scurrying by with my head down. "Hello, are you my new neighbor?" someone asked. "My girl friend and I just bought this home. Name's Jake. Please, join us for a drink."

I paused. What the hell, I thought. Why not?

Mr Nice Guy, we all clustered out in front for an hour or two and introductions flew around while the others chatted with me; Jake, his girlfriend, and this other guy you had brought along with you - was his name Pete? - everyone was talking. But not you. Instead you leaned casually against your pickup and quietly listened. Until the conversation moved onto the economy, at which point you interjected, "Well, if the Federal Reserve would stop printing money out of nothing..." but your friends were all ready steering the discussion in another direction, fighting to talk over one another, except, unbeknownst to you, my full attention was now centered completely on you.

When my beer was gone, you noticed and reached over to offer to take the empty can away. When i declined a second drink, you shrugged, stuffed your hands in your pocket and smiled. When I looked at you a few times, you quickly looked away .. and then looked back when you didn't think I'd notice. (I did though. Every time.)

And when it was time to go and everyone had said their goodbyes, you finally stepped out in front of the others and introduced yourself. I blushed as you reached out because I was freezing and apologized for my cold hands. As you clasped my fingers in yours, you looked into my eyes and said, "Cold hands, warm heart, right?"

Mr Nice Guy, I am now completely smitten with you. :o





You gotta keep after the quiet ones, or they shy away into the night

[Jenna]

It's been a while since I've decoded female speech, but I'll give it a go:




I think you better keep your day job with those decoding skills. Sorry some gal twisted you up so bad though.

[k-os]

Mr Nice Guy, I am now completely smitten with you. :o


Nicely done, Jenna.

[General of Darkness]

Women are crazy. An ex married a nice guy that I think is pretty cool. Hells bells, several months ago, she wanted some GoD ruffness which I declined. I'll say it again, women are wishy washy and fricken nutz. I'd go on, but I don't want my head to explode.

[cigarlover]

When I was living in Fl I placed an ad on cl. Offered a house for 5 years living arrangement. Figured it was as much as a wife would cost me anyway LOL. Only had 2 replies from women who already owned a houses or houses but they werent my type LOL.

I see this ad in the OP is nationwide now too.

To all the single guys, stop trying to figure women out. They run on emotion, not logic. Many of em anyway. Also, people change every 10 years. What they wanted when they were 20 changed a lot when they hit 30 and then 40.. Guys too for that matter. Just enjoy life. It'll be over before you know it.

[k-os]

Women are crazy. An ex married a nice guy that I think is pretty cool. Hells bells, several months ago, she wanted some GoD ruffness which I declined. I'll say it again, women are wishy washy and fricken nutz. I'd go on, but I don't want my head to explode.


She probably just wants your sperm and him to raise the child. It happens a lot. I have read that around 25% of children are being raised by a man who is not their father, and most of the time, neither man knows it.

Yes, we can be crazy, but this situation is most likely instinct.

Edit: Not that it makes it right.

[1970 Silver Art]

The women can be crazy sometimes. Watch out guys. ;D

I just got lucky to not be in bad relationships with women up to this point but then again I have not dated that much. The last date that I have been on with a woman was in 2002. I have stayed away from dating because I know of a few men locally who have told me bad stories about their dates and that was enough for me to avoid being in a relationship with a female. It is not worth it in my opinion.

[goldmonkey]

Women are crazy. An ex married a nice guy that I think is pretty cool. Hells bells, several months ago, she wanted some GoD ruffness which I declined. I'll say it again, women are wishy washy and fricken nutz. I'd go on, but I don't want my head to explode.


She probably just wants your sperm and him to raise the child. It happens a lot. I have read that around 25% of children are being raised by a man who is not their father, and most of the time, neither man knows it.

Yes, we can be crazy, but this situation is most likely instinct.

Edit: Not that it makes it right.


k-os knows the code!

Mommy's little secret
http://dontmarry.wordpress.com/2007/05/29/mommys-little-secret/

Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles
http://www.amazon.com/Sperm-Wars-Infidelity-Conflict-Bedroom/dp/1560258489

Women's Infidelity
http://www.womensinfidelity.com/

http://i45.tinypic.com/29zoh74.jpg

[k-os]

k-os knows the code!

Mommy's little secret
http://dontmarry.wordpress.com/2007/05/29/mommys-little-secret/

Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles
http://www.amazon.com/Sperm-Wars-Infidelity-Conflict-Bedroom/dp/1560258489

Women's Infidelity
http://www.womensinfidelity.com/



It was Sperm Wars. Fascinating book!

[cigarlover]

The women can be crazy sometimes. Watch out guys. ;D

I just got lucky to not be in bad relationships with women up to this point but then again I have not dated that much. The last date that I have been on with a woman was in 2002. I have stayed away from dating because I know of a few men locally who have told me bad stories about their dates and that was enough for me to avoid being in a relationship with a female. It is not worth it in my opinion.



Yea they can be nuts. Just let it flow. Go with it, have a good time. If it gets to be to much move on to the next one. You dont have to get serious with every girl you meet.
Also dating is good for the soul. 9 years without a date? Get out there and have some fun. Theres more to life than silver art bars!!! :):)

[1970 Silver Art]

The women can be crazy sometimes. Watch out guys. ;D

I just got lucky to not be in bad relationships with women up to this point but then again I have not dated that much. The last date that I have been on with a woman was in 2002. I have stayed away from dating because I know of a few men locally who have told me bad stories about their dates and that was enough for me to avoid being in a relationship with a female. It is not worth it in my opinion.



Yea they can be nuts. Just let it flow. Go with it, have a good time. If it gets to be to much move on to the next one. You dont have to get serious with every girl you meet.
Also dating is good for the soul. 9 years without a date? Get out there and have some fun. Theres more to life than silver art bars!!! :):)


You have a very good point there Cigarlover. This might be hard for some people on here to believe but I will admit that occasionally I do see myself dating again in the future but I do know exactly when. It might be a while from now. As hard as I try, I do not think that I can avoid women forever.

I used to have a much harder stance on not dating but I have mellowing out a little bit as I am getting older. Maybe.....just maybe......I might get back into dating but I will not promise myself that. I will also admit that I need to go out more but that is hard for me to do because I spend a lot of time on GSUS.

[cigarlover]

Ya gotta shut this site down once in awhile :):)... My last GF was 20 and in college. Voted for Obama. I had some fun with her LOL. Amazing to see what our colleges are putting out nowadays. I tried to change her views but even though she had no logical arguments to support her views she stuck by them. It was fun while it lasted but we both knew it wasnt anything long term up front so that kept it casual too. Anyway, good luck out there.