View Full Version : Can we 'choose' happiness or is it a matter of circumstance and genes?
Libertarian_Guard
19th August 2010, 10:59 PM
Peace of Mind: The Battle
Can we 'choose' happiness or is it a matter of circumstance and genes?
By PAUL BESTON
New parents are sometimes asked whimsically what they want for their children when they grow up. The safest reply, and most common one today, is: "I just want them to be happy." Another possible reply, often unspoken but certainly part of most parents' thoughts about their children's future, might be: "I just want them to be good."
In such a way, parents routinely join an age-old debate about the human condition: Should striving for happiness be a goal in itself or does moral virtue trump personal contentment? If we're good, will happiness follow? And what does it mean to be happy, anyway?
In "Exploring Happiness," Sissela Bok writes that her purpose is not "to find happiness, still less to prescribe steps for others to take to achieve it, as to explore what we can learn about its nature and its role in human lives." In pursuing this more modest goal, she is amply successful: "Exploring Happiness" would do well as a small textbook for a course in the intellectual history of happiness or as a reader's guide for anyone eager to look into the subject for himself. The range of thinkers whom Ms. Bok consults is truly impressive: Socrates, Seneca, Augustine, Aquinas, Petrarch, Montaigne, Pascal, Voltaire, Diderot, Bentham, Mill, Thoreau, Marx and many more besides. It is hard to imagine how anyone else, in fewer than 200 pages of text, could better encompass so much Western thinking about a question so important to the way we live.
One of Ms. Bok's recurring themes is the need to strike a balance between "resilience" and "empathy" in our efforts to find happiness for ourselves or to create a world in which happiness is possible for both ourselves and others. Today's self-help and positive-thinking gurus, she laments, often urge us to "choose" happiness while neglecting the moral ramifications of our choices. But as she observes, choices involve trade-offs: If we are not careful, we may preserve our happiness by increasing the unhappiness of those around us. "To avoid the self-protective drive to shut out awareness of the needs of others," she writes, "resilience must be counterbalanced by empathy, the capacity for fellow-feeling and compassion."
Ms. Bok, a moral philosopher whose previous books include "Lying: Moral Choice in Public and Private Life" (1978), does not see happiness as an end in itself, a pursuit that justifies itself when a state of happiness (in whatever form) is finally achieved (by whatever means). There is, she insists, an ethical dimension to all efforts at finding happiness or personal contentment. "Pursuits of happiness that abide by fundamental moral values," she writes, "differ crucially from those that call for deceit, violence, betrayal." It may seem an obvious point, but if happiness were an end in itself, it would excuse all sorts of behavior, including not only "deceit, violence, betrayal" but also mere selfishness or the little cruelties that can be, unfortunately, a part of everyday life.
Ms. Bok clearly stands against such forms of malicious happiness, so to speak, but this is one of the few value judgments she is willing to make in "Exploring Happiness." Rather she warns against the enduring tendency to "slip into unreflective, one-dimensional conclusions" about what constitutes happiness, citing the dangers of what literary critic I.A. Richards called "premature ultimates"—the broad generalizations that, Ms. Bok writes, "bring investigation to an end too suddenly."
Her even-handedness is commendable, but her unwillingness to take a position—in the midst of so many varying answers to so many difficult questions—can be frustrating. For example, there are those who favor the Aristotelian concept of eudaimonia, which closely connects happiness with virtue. And there are those who hold, as did Kant, that virtue doesn't lead inexorably to happiness and that happiness doesn't necessarily suggest virtue. Ms. Bok presents both arguments without saying which one seems the most persuasive to her, or the most wise. Does she trust today's sometimes utopian-sounding social scientists who seem so confident that they can "measure" happiness? Does she believe, as did Freud, that human happiness is ultimately unattainable, or rather, as Bertrand Russell argued, that happiness can be "conquered" through individual effort? It is impossible to say.
Russell's claim points to the role of the human will in the quest for happiness—how much is in our control? How much can human agency achieve? To address the matter, Ms. Bok revisits the memorable correspondence between René Descartes, the 17th-century French philosopher, and Princess Elisabeth of Bohemia.
Descartes and the princess were close epistolary friends who decided to read together Seneca's "De Vita Beata" ("On the Happy Life"). Like Russell after him, Descartes believed that melancholy could be overcome through the efforts of the will. He formulates three rules for contentment: Follow reason in knowing what to do and not do; refuse to allow passion to overcome reason; and resist desiring things that lie beyond your reach. It sounds good, but Princess Elisabeth wasn't buying it: She protested that some people, because of circumstances or temperament, are not able to work their will to the extent that Descartes describes. Moreover, all of this willed positive thinking, she felt, would make us more prone to self-deception and weaken our efforts at virtue.
The debate between Descartes and Princess Elisabeth is timeless. By contrast, the study of the "science" of happiness, especially the neuroscience of brain chemistry, belongs distinctly to our own age. Here Ms. Bok reminds us that there really is something new under the sun: Studies of the way that areas of the brain react to different stimuli provide insights into the organic causes of consciousness and emotion. Even if no scientific approach can ever fully account for the complex states of mind and soul that human beings experience, neuroscience clearly marks an advance in our understanding. As the psychopharmacology revolution attests, brain chemistry plays a role in our sense of well- being. Princess Elisabeth would not have been surprised.
Ms. Bok also makes use of psychological studies to explore happiness. She describes what the psychologists Philip Brickman and Donald Campbell called, in 1971, the Hedonic Treadmill, the idea that most people seem to achieve a balancing of emotional states, rarely getting too high or too low and rarely maintaining extremes for long. Twenty-five years later, David Lykken and Auke Tellegen proposed that we arrive at an equilibrium because we have happiness "set points" that we naturally return to. Unfortunately, they observed, some of us have more advantageous set points than others, mostly because of our genes. Later critics, armed with new genetic studies, argue that set points are not fixed and can be altered. Our genes, they maintain, do not control our reality so much as interact with it. This is a more comforting thought and probably has the benefit of being closer to the truth.
In the end, Ms. Bok believes, science, philosophy, art and personal experience all have worthwhile things to tell us about happiness. She reminds us that human beings have sought happiness in all times and circumstances, even when faced with poverty, disease and war. There is thus a great deal of wisdom to draw on.
Still, our modern fixation on happiness may be inseparable from a peculiarity of our historical circumstance: namely, our affluence. He who worries over happiness in itself has probably already secured his dinner. That's something to be happy about, if you're so inclined.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703649004575437652525950856.html?m od=WSJ_hp_editorsPicks_2
StackerKen
19th August 2010, 11:42 PM
The word Happy comes from the word hap
hap
An occurrence or happening, especially an unexpected, random or chance event.
The word Happiness implies some thing good Happening to make a person happy.
Here is a saying that I like....
The happiest people don't have the best of everything,
they just make the best of everything they have.
;D
1970 silver art
19th August 2010, 11:59 PM
The word Happy comes from the word hap
hap
An occurrence or happening, especially an unexpected, random or chance event.
The word Happiness implies some thing good Happening to make a person happy.
Here is a saying that I like....
The happiest people don't have the best of everything,
they just make the best of everything they have.
;D
That explains why I am "high" on happiness. ;D For me, being happy means living my life the way that I see fit. If I try to live my life based on how society expects me to live my life, then I will not be very happy at all. I dance to the beat of my own drum. I do not dance to the beat of "society's drum". Living my life the way that I see fit is making the best of everything that I have to work with.
keehah
20th August 2010, 12:36 AM
I localized the indexing. ;D
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/happy
Paul Beston (Libertarian Guard) : favored by luck or fortune : fortunate <a happy coincidence>
Silver Art : notably fitting, effective, or well adapted : felicitous <a happy choice>
Stacker Ken a : enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment <is the happiest person I know> <a happy childhood> b : expressing, reflecting, or suggestive of happiness <a happy ending> c : glad, pleased <I'm happy to meet you> d : having or marked by an atmosphere of good fellowship : friendly <a happy office>
Keeha a : characterized by a dazed irresponsible state <a punch-happy boxer> b : impulsively or obsessively quick to use or do something <trigger-happy> c : enthusiastic about something to the point of obsession : obsessed <education-conscious and statistic-happy — Helen Rowen>
Saul Mine
20th August 2010, 08:49 AM
Sorry to trot out the old cliche, but it applies here: Is the glass half full or half empty? You get to choose how you look at everything that happens. People who choose to be happy are sometimes accused of refusing to face reality, but there is a deep truth involved: You can't ever be happy if you refuse to admit it.
Book
20th August 2010, 09:05 AM
http://www.srcf.ucam.org/chmayball/comingsoon.jpg
:oo-->
http://admin.moguling.com/Upload/www.helpthehomelessaz.org/homeless.bmp
The grim movie The Road illustrates the core issue: Those who are parents and have children can't "chose" happiness. Those without children can take the easy way out and ignore reality while "choosing" to be happy.
Saul Mine
20th August 2010, 10:27 AM
The grim movie The Road illustrates the core issue: Those who are parents and have children can't "chose" happiness. Those without children can take the easy way out and ignore reality while "choosing" to be happy.
You miss the point: people are just as free to ignore reality and choose to be happy as they are to ignore reality and choose to be miserable. Reality is reality, but your reaction to it is a free choice. Your mistake is you assume in advance that you must be miserable in certain situations (such as having kids), so when you fall into that situation you have no choice. You always have a choice; all you have to do is change your mind.
Desolation LineTrimmer
20th August 2010, 10:54 AM
As usual, the answer is not either/or, but both. People are born with their temperaments but they can certainly tweak the tendency in the direction of contentedness. Whenever I hear the world "happy" I always think of idiots or drunks.
Book
23rd August 2010, 08:19 AM
Your mistake is you assume in advance that you must be miserable in certain situations (such as having kids), so when you fall into that situation you have no choice. You always have a choice; all you have to do is change your mind.
http://www.picture-america.com/LuceB/Migrant-Mother-Project/Pictures/great-depression-family.jpg
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http://creatingwealth4success.com/files/2010/03/tony-robbins-300x300.jpg
Yeah...Tony Robbins can "change her mind" and put a smile on her face and make the kid's tummies feel full...lol.
Sparky
23rd August 2010, 09:31 AM
Sorry to trot out the old cliche, but it applies here: Is the glass half full or half empty? You get to choose how you look at everything that happens. People who choose to be happy are sometimes accused of refusing to face reality, but there is a deep truth involved: You can't ever be happy if you refuse to admit it.
There is some truth to this. But you have to keep in mind that not everybody has a glass at 50% capacity to begin with. Can two optimistic people be equally happy if one's glass is 50% full and the other's is 5% full?
Gknowmx
23rd August 2010, 11:10 AM
The Greek, and later the Roman Stoics would tell you that Happiness is a choice, it is the outcome of a Reasoning and Virtuous Man.
Henry Hazlitt has a nice piece on the Roman Stoics (Seneca, Epectetus, and Marcus Aurelius) that you can find on the Mises website.
http://mises.org/books/stoics.pdf
keehah
23rd August 2010, 11:13 AM
Yeah...Tony Robbins can "change her mind" and put a smile on her face and make the kid's tummies feel full...lol.
If they are motivated and not yet starving...yes.
Nothing like a trance state and some NLP to focus ones thoughts on the diet and health aspects coming off the American diet of processed and heat denatured chemicals.
Book
24th August 2010, 06:51 AM
Yeah...Tony Robbins can "change her mind" and put a smile on her face and make the kid's tummies feel full...lol.
If they are motivated and not yet starving...yes.
Nothing like a trance state and some NLP to focus ones thoughts on the diet and health aspects coming off the American diet of processed and heat denatured chemicals.
http://www.reresolutions.com/images/RE%20Resolutions/Homeless%20Family.jpg
SELL YOUR CAR-HOME AND BUY TONY'S MOTIVATIONAL CD SET FOR ONLY $299! (FOOD STAMPS NOT ACCEPTED)
:D
http://myextraattic.com/ForSale/Books/Anthony%20Tony%20Robbins%20Personal%20Power%20Cass ette%20Tapes.JPG
Saul Mine
24th August 2010, 08:22 AM
Sorry to trot out the old cliche, but it applies here: Is the glass half full or half empty? You get to choose how you look at everything that happens. People who choose to be happy are sometimes accused of refusing to face reality, but there is a deep truth involved: You can't ever be happy if you refuse to admit it.
There is some truth to this. But you have to keep in mind that not everybody has a glass at 50% capacity to begin with. Can two optimistic people be equally happy if one's glass is 50% full and the other's is 5% full?
As long as you are discussing logic, it is a choice.
Joe King
24th August 2010, 04:11 PM
Sorry to trot out the old cliche, but it applies here: Is the glass half full or half empty? You get to choose how you look at everything that happens. People who choose to be happy are sometimes accused of refusing to face reality, but there is a deep truth involved: You can't ever be happy if you refuse to admit it.
There is some truth to this. But you have to keep in mind that not everybody has a glass at 50% capacity to begin with. Can two optimistic people be equally happy if one's glass is 50% full and the other's is 5% full?
As long as you are discussing logic, it is a choice.
Yea, I have to agree.
Having a good outlook is a choice.
The way I see things is that no matter what happens, everything always works for the better. Has so far, anyways. No reason for it to stop now.
But a lot of that is all in ones perspective.
Book
25th August 2010, 08:55 AM
The way I see things is that no matter what happens, everything always works for the better. Has so far, anyways. No reason for it to stop now.
http://ceoworld.biz/ceo/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/ruth-madoff-bernard-ponzi-scheme.jpg
You tell 'em Joe!
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Joe King
25th August 2010, 09:17 AM
The way I see things is that no matter what happens, everything always works for the better. Has so far, anyways. No reason for it to stop now.
http://ceoworld.biz/ceo/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/ruth-madoff-bernard-ponzi-scheme.jpg
You tell 'em Joe!
:oo-->
::) I was speaking about how I see things for myself.
Your results may vary.
Book
25th August 2010, 09:29 AM
http://creativesuite.com.au/wedesignstuff/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/barack-hope-poster.jpg
YES WE CAN!
:D
Book
25th August 2010, 09:36 AM
http://www.funmunch.com/funny_pictures/cartoon/Power%20Of%20Positive%20Thinking.gif
Positive thinking...lol.
http://www.thehappyguy.com/HappyDuck.gif
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StackerKen
25th August 2010, 12:18 PM
Yep it's a choice.
Doing what im doing in my avatar (Surfed monday, was awesome) makes me happy :)
Playing with my Grandkids (yesterday and later today) makes me happy ;D
Going to the beach with the Grandkids tomorrow and surfing bit will no doubt make me happy.
We should all try to do things that make us happy.
1970 silver art
25th August 2010, 12:56 PM
+1 Karma for you Stacker for making sense. My hobbies are my main source for me to stay happy. Enjoying my hobbies is the key for me to be happy and that is why I feel happy all of the time. Living my life the way that I want to live it also makes me happy.
Yep. I am doing things that make me happy and my life is good as a result of doing that.
keehah
25th August 2010, 01:07 PM
(warning -sound on the first video is a little loud)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArGdLkpDGCQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSDF8VvU13M
I liked Ken's post, so to end on a related note (i.e. washing dishes(?!?)) here is more CanCon: :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a-nG4QLdFs
k-os
25th August 2010, 01:20 PM
Sorry to trot out the old cliche, but it applies here: Is the glass half full or half empty? You get to choose how you look at everything that happens. People who choose to be happy are sometimes accused of refusing to face reality, but there is a deep truth involved: You can't ever be happy if you refuse to admit it.
There is some truth to this. But you have to keep in mind that not everybody has a glass at 50% capacity to begin with. Can two optimistic people be equally happy if one's glass is 50% full and the other's is 5% full?
As long as you are discussing logic, it is a choice.
Yea, I have to agree.
Having a good outlook is a choice.
The way I see things is that no matter what happens, everything always works for the better. Has so far, anyways. No reason for it to stop now.
But a lot of that is all in ones perspective.
Me too, Joe King. Even events/circumstance that seemed bad at the time, somehow had a positive impact on my life in retrospect. I hope it always continues to get better.
Sparky, it's difficult to be happy in the circumstance that you provided, unless you're detached. No one should have to carry the burden of responsibility for another person's mood.
Book, I didn't know that there are no happy parents out there. Well damn, I have another great reason never to have children. Thanks for the warning. (Although I think I know a few people who would certainly disagree.)
keehah
25th August 2010, 04:11 PM
If anyone finds the last two videos I posted above too much centred on 'the brotherhood' here is an alternate version. 8)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87HjsK10_74
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwCt0YQPn7g
Saul Mine
25th August 2010, 04:53 PM
Ok, try it yourself and check your own results.
* A cold tends to follow about two weeks after a blue spell.
* You can decide not to be blue.
* So you can decide not to have a cold.
I learned this in 1974 and have had exactly two colds since then, both in extreme conditions. If you are in the habit of letting logic dictate your moods you might find it difficult to actually decide not to be blue, but that is your problem.
Liquid
26th August 2010, 01:31 PM
I think when we start comparing ourselves to other people, it can be tough to be happy. Society pushes us to compete with others. This is why we've collectively racked up monumental debt, trying to keep up with the Jones. Take a look at houses over the past 20 years...they've continued to get bigger and bigger, and now, a lot of homes have TV's in each room, each member has their own bedroom, everyone has a car, fancy gadgets..etc.
We've consumed our way to happiness, collectively.
The problem with this mentality, is that everyone is different in wants likes and needs. Competing with other people is a smokescreen and this is why folks, tend to have the 'happiness is just around the corner' view on life.
Happiness is a choice, it's saying to hell with all that. Being debt free gives freedom, and having a view on life that whatever challenges come our way, we can handle them.
Happiness is not in the things we own, but more on enjoying the simple things in life, such as good friends, family, nature, and accepting ourselves for the unique people that we are.
Libertarian_Guard
26th August 2010, 06:25 PM
I think when we start comparing ourselves to other people, it can be tough to be happy. Society pushes us to compete with others. This is why we've collectively racked up monumental debt, trying to keep up with the Jones. Take a look at houses over the past 20 years...they've continued to get bigger and bigger, and now, a lot of homes have TV's in each room, each member has their own bedroom, everyone has a car, fancy gadgets..etc.
We've consumed our way to happiness, collectively.
The problem with this mentality, is that everyone is different in wants likes and needs. Competing with other people is a smokescreen and this is why folks, tend to have the 'happiness is just around the corner' view on life.
Happiness is a choice, it's saying to hell with all that. Being debt free gives freedom, and having a view on life that whatever challenges come our way, we can handle them.
Happiness is not in the things we own, but more on enjoying the simple things in life, such as good friends, family, nature, and accepting ourselves for the unique people that we are.
Great post!
You've reminded me of something memorable from Styx.
The Grand Illusion
Welcome to the Grand illusion
Come on in and see what's happening
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show
The stage is set, the band starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing secretly you were a star.
But don't be fooled by the radio
The TV or the magazines
They show you photographs of how your life should be
But they're just someone else's fantasy
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because you never win the game
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because your neighbors got it made
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...
America spells competition, join us in our blind ambition
Get yourself a brand new motor car
Someday soon we'll stop to ponder what on Earth's this spell we're under
We made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are.
zap
26th August 2010, 10:08 PM
QUOTE from Liquid
Happiness is not in the things we own, but more on enjoying the simple things in life, such as good friends, family, nature, and accepting ourselves for the unique people that we are.
Happiness doesn't cost anything, you have to be at peace within yourself to be happy.
Then you can see the beauty in life.
But, sometimes you just can't find the bliss.
Liquid
26th August 2010, 10:24 PM
But, sometimes you just can't find the bliss.
Zap, I think this is the variable, I've yet to figure out. ;D
I don't understand how I can be happy, and content...but just not find the bliss yet.
Book
26th August 2010, 10:32 PM
Ok, try it yourself and check your own results.
* A cold tends to follow about two weeks after a blue spell.
* You can decide not to be blue.
* So you can decide not to have a cold.
http://awakeningcharlotte.com/content/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Child-Blowing-Nose-copy-421x600.jpg
http://academicdepartments.musc.edu/bin/f/d/Child_blowing_nose.jpg
These poor kids must be suffering from clinical depression...lol.
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Liquid
26th August 2010, 10:38 PM
These poor kids must be suffering from clinical depression...lol.
:oo-->
This is why these kids must be medicated, for depression, of course. God help us if kids act like kids and drive us crazy! No, they need to be blank stared zombies, that's healthy.
The less energy they have, the better. In fact, some may need horse tanquilzers as well.
We just can't let kids be kids, it's not healthy for them.
keehah
19th April 2011, 10:28 AM
Guardian UK: Happiness is U-shaped ... which explains why the middle-aged are grumpy (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/8457193/Happiness-is-U-shaped-...-which-explains-why-the-middle-aged-are-grumpy.html)
Happiness follows a U-shaped curve during a person's lifetime, according to research showing that middle-aged people are the unhappiest.
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01874/happy_1874914c.jpg
While young adults are carefree and full of hope for the future and the over-50s have come to terms with the trials of life, the research indicates that those in the middle feel weighed down by the demands on them.
The study found "a substantial dip in happiness during the middle of people's lives is the equivalent to becoming unemployed or losing a family member".
Sparky
19th April 2011, 10:47 AM
I think this depends on what things make you unhappy, i.e. what obstructs your happiness. These can sometimes be external obstacles over which you have little or no control. That's why you can probably choose to optimize your happiness, but you might not be able to choose happiness.
So, what makes you unhappy? Are they things you can control?
If you "choose" to be happy, is it because you are allowing your mind to escape reality, i.e. "kid" yourself? Dale Carnegie used to teach that "you are what you think", which I happen to believe is very true. But at what point are you just fooling yourself? Some people are better at doing this than others; I think it's easier for those people to choose happiness.
Book
19th April 2011, 10:58 AM
If you "choose" to be happy, is it because you are allowing your mind to escape reality, i.e. "kid" yourself? Dale Carnegie used to teach that "you are what you think", which I happen to believe is very true. But at what point are you just fooling yourself?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtmmefcJbMc
Exactly.
solid
19th April 2011, 11:09 AM
The way I look at it, there's no reason to be unhappy. If you face challenges in life, overcome them. There's a rule I adhere by, and recommend. No matter what challenges you face in life, there's always a way to improve your situation.
Most people find a way to create their own misery, they don't spend the time to figure out what makes them happy. They bounce through life chasing things and never really live in the present moment.
It's not about pursuing happiness...it's about understanding what makes you as an individual happy.
I recently had this conversation with a coworker. He's 60+ in age, and we both agreed on the same thing, life just keeps getting better and better.
Sparky
19th April 2011, 11:24 AM
The way I look at it, there's no reason to be unhappy. If you face challenges in life, overcome them. There's a rule I adhere by, and recommend. No matter what challenges you face in life, there's always a way to improve your situation.
Most people find a way to create their own misery, they don't spend the time to figure out what makes them happy. They bounce through life chasing things and never really live in the present moment.
It's not about pursuing happiness...it's about understanding what makes you as an individual happy.
I recently had this conversation with a coworker. He's 60+ in age, and we both agreed on the same thing, life just keeps getting better and better.
But this ignores my point about external obstacles. How do you do this if you learn your legs have to be amputated, your spouse gets leukemia, and your grandchild is born with Down's Syndrome? Would that count as "creating your own misery"?
Maybe life seems to be getting better and better because your life, in fact, is getting better and better, and you are not really "choosing" anything at all.
You see, our obstacles are all so different that I think the "choose happiness" argument is sometimes borne out of ignorant bliss. I've seen stories of people who have reached contentment even in the face of incredible hardships, so I'm sure there is some choice to be made. But I don't think everyone has the makeup to accomplish that; it probably IS highly dependent upon your rearing, your environment, and your DNA.
solid
19th April 2011, 11:41 AM
But this ignores my point about external obstacles. How do you do this if you learn your legs have to be amputated, your spouse gets leukemia, and your grandchild is born with Down's Syndrome? Would that count as "creating your own misery"?
Think about it this way Sparky. What do you do in these situations? Sit around and be miserable..if your spouse has leukemia, you do the best you can with that challenge, enjoy the time spent together, if you get leukemia, enjoy your time here on this earth as best as you can. If a grandchild gets Down's syndrome, you can still love the child and make that child's life as happy as possible.
If you lose your legs...what I'd do, is build a bad-ass wheel chair and wheel my way around the states and travel, create a 'wheel chair tour' on this forum. But that's me personally.
I read once that it's attachments that take away from our happiness. Anything you are attached to takes a piece away..ie, you 'can't live without' it. Attachments to things, people, even body parts. We don't need things to be happy, people are different, however it is of my opinion that people are there to enjoy the time spent with them. That doesn't mean they are less important, same with body parts as well.
zap
19th April 2011, 12:10 PM
I agree with you Solid,
It is all in how you deal with all of lifes trials and tribulations.
I am sure you have all had the conversation about writing your problems down and throwing them into a hat with 6 other people , would you pick from the hat or will you keep your own problems? I will keep mine cause, it can always be worse, there will always be bumps in the road, with no smooth sailing.
Its all in how you deal with what life throws at ya.
I choose to be happy, everything can go straight to hell and I am going to be happy.
TheNocturnalEgyptian
19th April 2011, 12:12 PM
Bad things will always happen to good people,
but there is something to be said for a certain mentality.
Some people are defeatists - they've thought of a thousand ways to be defeated before the fight starts, and they SUCCUMB to that notion...
Some people are opportunists - they can be realisitic about the situation, but they're always looking for an opportunity to *CREATE* an opening which is advantageous.
You don't just take an opening which is there. You CREATE it.
keehah
19th April 2011, 12:26 PM
...You don't just take an opening which is there. You CREATE it.
That works just fine.
http://tootlepedal.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/flying-siskin-and-chaffinch.jpg
Till the feed runs out.
ximmy
19th April 2011, 01:01 PM
Why the long face...
www.doobybrain.com/2008/01/16/chinese-man-has-second-surgery-for-facial-tumor
Sparky
19th April 2011, 01:09 PM
...
I read once that it's attachments that take away from our happiness. Anything you are attached to takes a piece away..ie, you 'can't live without' it. Attachments to things, people, even body parts.
...
Yeah, I think there's a lot of truth to this.
The other thing that can interfere with happiness is feeling the need to keep other people happy, which is much harder to manage.
Book
19th April 2011, 04:02 PM
Till the feed runs out.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2462/3894566587_e437bd1b8a.jpg
Horn
19th April 2011, 04:18 PM
Its all great until someone zaps ya with that HAARP gun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVKDm4PhEwI
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