View Full Version : Anyone have any experience dealing with a sociopath?
midnight rambler
24th September 2010, 10:23 AM
(the term sociopath has been replaced with the term anti-social personality disorder, however I prefer sociopath as the former sounds much more benign and betrays reality)
A *friend* of 12 years is trying to put the wood to me in a big way. I did not realize he's a sociopath, as many sociopaths appear normal up until the point they twist off on you. This profile of the sociopath describes this criminal to a 't':
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
He's more of a garden variety sociopath appearing completely normal for the most part being on the low end of the scale rather than at the other end of the scale, the other end of the scale being a serial killer or child molester.
Any suggestions or input based on your previous experiences in dealing with a sociopath would be appreciated.
Heimdhal
24th September 2010, 10:33 AM
I dont know your exact situation, but I've got quite a few family members in the sociopath/borderline personality disorder area.
The only real thing you can do is simply stop dealing with them. One of the hallmarks of sociopathic disordes is the person has the inability, or a severly lowerd ability, to feel and embrace remorse and guilt. Whatever this guy is doing to you, he just doesnt care, and he doesnt feel any wrong doing about it, at best. At worst, hes getting off on it and enjoying it.
Sociopaths thrive on manipulation. They will get physicaly, verably and violently angry when they fail at that. This is where most people find out a person is a sociopath because everything will seem normal, then one day they explode because you didnt bend to their will. Even if its something absurdley small.
So, if you can, just get away from him, forget he exist. If theres some kind of money tied up in it, you must weigh whether its worth it or not.
Dogman
24th September 2010, 10:35 AM
Run
Change your identity move to another part of the country or world. cut off all contact with all people
that know the both of you. And Keep looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life.
One can never truly trust a sociopath , ever! Your life may depend on it someday.
chad
24th September 2010, 10:37 AM
what heimdahl said. the only way i got any peace from the one i knew was to completely cut them off.
Ash_Williams
24th September 2010, 10:41 AM
You knew the guy 12 years and suddenly he fits the textbook definition perfectly?
Are you sure you didn't just piss him off or something?
General of Darkness
24th September 2010, 10:41 AM
If there's money involved and you have the energy to deal with the headache I say get IT BACK. If you can get it back, then beat their ASS. I've been taken advantage of by sociopaths and I will say this, "NEVER AGAIN".
Cebu_4_2
24th September 2010, 10:42 AM
I dealt with BPD and still occasionally get to witness 2nd hand what I do not miss. If I had it all to do over I would have went far away and become unavailable in person and in every way that I could have been contacted. Really your life will be better and all the good times will have melted away in no time.
Good luck with it!
Liquid
24th September 2010, 10:43 AM
This profile of the sociopath describes this criminal to a 't':
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
Wow, that describes most of the women I've ever dated.
I agree with the others...you can't "deal" with a bpd/sociopath. You can't fix them. The only thing you can do is remove them from your life. No contact, nothing. Any contact at all makes you the prey, and them the predator.
midnight rambler
24th September 2010, 10:46 AM
You knew the guy 12 years and suddenly he fits the textbook definition perfectly?
Are you sure you didn't just piss him off or something?
This is the second experience getting burned by a bona fide sociopath in the past 11 months. They appear completely normal until they swap ends on you.
I take it you have no experience with sociopaths.
Light
24th September 2010, 10:46 AM
Can't you two fools see that you're in love?
Book
24th September 2010, 10:50 AM
Any suggestions...would be appreciated.
http://csos.movieset.com/download/movieset/o/b/old/02-hannibal-lecter.jpg
Fava beans and a nice chianti.
:)
mamboni
24th September 2010, 10:54 AM
(the term sociopath has been replaced with the term anti-social personality disorder, however I prefer sociopath as the former sounds much more benign and betrays reality)
A *friend* of 12 years is trying to put the wood to me in a big way. I did not realize he's a sociopath, as many sociopaths appear normal up until the point they twist off on you. This profile of the sociopath describes this criminal to a 't':
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
He's more of a garden variety sociopath appearing completely normal for the most part being on the low end of the scale rather than at the other end of the scale, the other end of the scale being a serial killer or child molester.
Any suggestions or input based on your previous experiences in dealing with a sociopath would be appreciated.
Homosexual relationships can be very tumultuous when they break up; much more so that heterosexual relationships. But you should remain calm and not over react. I would recommend the following steps:
1. Change you name
2. Disconnect telephone and all channels of communication
3. Sell your house, then bulldoze it and plow over the land and salt it
4. Leave the country and move to another continent
5. adopt a disguise: I always thought the G. Gordon Liddy look was effective - shave your head bald and glue on a handle-bar moustache
6. Have a tombstone engraved with your old name placed in the local cemetary to throw him off
Good luck.
Dogman
24th September 2010, 10:56 AM
This profile of the sociopath describes this criminal to a 't':
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
Wow, that describes most of the women I've ever dated.
I agree with the others...you can't "deal" with a bpd/sociopath. You can't fix them. The only thing you can do is remove them from your life. No contact, nothing. Any contact at all makes you the prey, and them the predator.
There is a hazard still after breaking away , unless he lives in a different city or town or better state.
I know from some one from my past , they can haunt you over the years, even if you want no contact.
Distance is good ! physically and mental.
If he runs in the same circles as you, yes draw away as far as you can. but keep your eyes open 360 deg's
around you until , with hope he decides in time to forget you. And he makes his own break (in his mind) from
you.
midnight rambler
24th September 2010, 10:57 AM
(the term sociopath has been replaced with the term anti-social personality disorder, however I prefer sociopath as the former sounds much more benign and betrays reality)
A *friend* of 12 years is trying to put the wood to me in a big way. I did not realize he's a sociopath, as many sociopaths appear normal up until the point they twist off on you. This profile of the sociopath describes this criminal to a 't':
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
He's more of a garden variety sociopath appearing completely normal for the most part being on the low end of the scale rather than at the other end of the scale, the other end of the scale being a serial killer or child molester.
Any suggestions or input based on your previous experiences in dealing with a sociopath would be appreciated.
Homosexual relationships can be very tumultuous when they break up;
Based upon your own experiences of course, since I was asking for input from those with experience in these matters. :o
mamboni
24th September 2010, 10:59 AM
You knew the guy 12 years and suddenly he fits the textbook definition perfectly?
Are you sure you didn't just piss him off or something?
This is the second experience getting burned by a bona fide sociopath in the past 11 months. They appear completely normal until they swap ends on you.
I take it you have no experience with sociopaths.
You are fond of the word 'bona.' The metaphor "swap ends" appeals to you. You mention that your friend "wants to put the wood to me." A wooden dildo comes to mind. These are all tells.
Do not fear, my limp-wristed friend: your secret is safe with us (and the rest of the vast cyberspace). Come out of the closet and bask in the sunshine of full disclosure.
midnight rambler
24th September 2010, 11:06 AM
You knew the guy 12 years and suddenly he fits the textbook definition perfectly?
Are you sure you didn't just piss him off or something?
This is the second experience getting burned by a bona fide sociopath in the past 11 months. They appear completely normal until they swap ends on you.
I take it you have no experience with sociopaths.
You are fond of the word 'bona.' The metaphor "swap ends" appeals to you. You mention that your friend "wants to put the wood to me." A wooden dildo comes to mind. These are all tells.
Do not fear, my limp-wristed friend: your secret is safe with us (and the rest of the vast cyberspace). Come out of the closet and bask in the sunshine of full disclosure.
Queer minds think queer thoughts. - Dr. Rosenbaum, M.D. doctor of psychiatry and father of a high school friend
Get your mind out of the gutter mamboni.
Liquid
24th September 2010, 11:10 AM
There is a hazard still after breaking away , unless he lives in a different city or town or better state.
I know from some one from my past , they can haunt you over the years, even if you want no contact.
Distance is good ! physically and mental.
If he runs in the same circles as you, yes draw away as far as you can. but keep your eyes open 360 deg's
around you until , with hope he decides in time to forget you. And he makes his own break (in his mind) from
you.
This is true, and since his case is dealing with a man he's known for 12 years, it may be difficult.
However, no contact means no contact. It must be made clear. With women, it's fairly easy. The trick is to find out as quick as possible they are sociopaths. The quicker, the easier the no contact becomes. They then find another victim to prey upon, and you are free and clear.
Once a sociopath thinks they've got their claws in you, it's a no holds barred manipulative attack at the point. They truly are 'predators' in every sense of the word.
General of Darkness
24th September 2010, 11:12 AM
You are fond of the word 'bona.' The metaphor "swap ends" appeals to you. You mention that your friend "wants to put the wood to me." A wooden dildo comes to mind. These are all tells.
Do not fear, my limp-wristed friend: your secret is safe with us (and the rest of the vast cyberspace). Come out of the closet and bask in the sunshine of full disclosure.
I didn't mean to thank you for your post, but regarding your post. Seriously, WTF is wrong with you today? Is this your sense of humor, or frustration with GSUS? I don't think it's fair to post b.s. in what's a serious thread. If you want I can play along Mamboni? I can be a real son of a bitch. But I will say this, I lost a lot of respect for you today.
midnight rambler
24th September 2010, 11:20 AM
We have only one mutual friend and I'm not that close to him. I have given this mutual friend a heads-up and he's already been wary of this varmint anyway. The varmint lives a considerable distance from me, so no contact is not a problem, in fact he's found it very easy to be unresponsive to my phone calls and emails. The only way I was able to get him to answer his cell last week was to spoof the caller ID with his main office number.
I have offered this varmint three very fair and reasonable options for resolving this matter, yet he still wants to pull his manipulative sh*t. Since sociopaths don't register shame, remorse, or guilt making an appeal to moral principles gets me nowhere. I'm trying to figure out what motivates him, and since money doesn't seem to motivate him, the only thing I figure that's motivating him is winning at the game of manipulation.
Gknowmx
24th September 2010, 11:21 AM
You knew the guy 12 years and suddenly he fits the textbook definition perfectly?
Are you sure you didn't just piss him off or something?
My question exactly. I have known sociopaths. If you "knew" this guy as you imply, then it wouldn't take 12 years to discover that he is a true sociopath. However, if he just snapped mentally/emotionally for some reason recently, perhaps his symptoms appear sociopathic.
If you have known this guy for this long and you couldn't tell his nature, you have a bigger problem than him on your hands.... Just sayin'
It takes two, you bring your side to board like this, get ready to hear all sorts of stuff....
mamboni
24th September 2010, 11:21 AM
You are fond of the word 'bona.' The metaphor "swap ends" appeals to you. You mention that your friend "wants to put the wood to me." A wooden dildo comes to mind. These are all tells.
Do not fear, my limp-wristed friend: your secret is safe with us (and the rest of the vast cyberspace). Come out of the closet and bask in the sunshine of full disclosure.
I didn't mean to thank you for your post, but regarding your post. Seriously, WTF is wrong with you today? Is this your sense of humor, or frustration with GSUS? I don't think it's fair to post b.s. in what's a serious thread. If you want I can play along Mamboni? I can be a real son of a bitch. But I will say this, I lost a lot of respect for you today.
Has anyone ever told you that you lean towards the melodramatic? You need to lighten up and stop over-reacting to what is obvious tongue-and-cheek banter (by me). As for the OP being serious, I doubt it. He asks a broad and sweeping question whilst providing absolutely no specifics and little in the way of particulars. His situation could be interpreted in numerous ways. And yes, I suspect it is a come on. Perhaps I'm a bit jumpy from all the trolling going on here of late, and total lack of substantive discussions on gold and silver amidst the historic immolation of the dollar-based world financial system.
Capeche?
Gknowmx
24th September 2010, 11:23 AM
We have only one mutual friend and I'm not that close to him. I have given this mutual friend a heads-up and he's already been wary of this varmint anyway. The varmint lives a considerable distance from me, so no contact is not a problem.
I have offered this varmint three very fair and reasonable options for resolving this matter, yet he still wants to pull his manipulative sh*t. Since sociopaths don't register shame, remorse, or guilt making an appeal to moral principles gets me nowhere. I'm trying to figure out what motivates him, and since money doesn't seem to motivate him, the only thing I figure that's motivating him is winning at the game of manipulation.
I'm hearing a lot of emotionally unbalance language here. How about starting by not using charged language to convince us that you are above the fray.
undgrd
24th September 2010, 11:24 AM
I've dated crazy in the past. The first time it took a while to see the signs. By the third one, I had her pegged within 3 weeks. Sorry OP but 12 years is a long time to not notice. Good luck with whatever the issue is.
General of Darkness
24th September 2010, 11:30 AM
Has anyone ever told you that you lean towards the melodramatic? You need to lighten up and stop over-reacting to what is obvious tongue-and-cheek banter (by me). As for the OP being serious, I doubt it. He asks a broad and sweeping question whilst providing absolutely no specifics and little in the way of particulars. His situation could be interpreted in numerous ways. And yes, I suspect it is a come on. Perhaps I'm a bit jumpy from all the trolling going on here of late, and total lack of substantive discussions on gold and silver amidst the historic immolation of the dollar-based world financial system.
Capeche?
This isn't a "joke" thread. You shouldn't take it out on a new member. Just saying.
willie pete
24th September 2010, 11:32 AM
what is this *friend* to you? I agree with others here, it would seem after 12 years you would've seen this behavior before this....I'd distance myself from them, and as a last resort you might want to consider something more drastic
http://img840.imageshack.us/img840/8136/walther.jpg
ximmy
24th September 2010, 11:37 AM
Seriously... man love... is it good?
Spectrism
24th September 2010, 11:42 AM
We have only one mutual friend and I'm not that close to him. I have given this mutual friend a heads-up and he's already been wary of this varmint anyway. The varmint lives a considerable distance from me, so no contact is not a problem.
I have offered this varmint three very fair and reasonable options for resolving this matter, yet he still wants to pull his manipulative sh*t. Since sociopaths don't register shame, remorse, or guilt making an appeal to moral principles gets me nowhere. I'm trying to figure out what motivates him, and since money doesn't seem to motivate him, the only thing I figure that's motivating him is winning at the game of manipulation.
I'm hearing a lot of emotionally unbalance language here. How about starting by not using charged language to convince us that you are above the fray.
I was getting the same feeling out of this. I think Mamboni hit on something too.
There are many missing pieces of information here. The sociopaths I have dealt with sounded much like the rambler (and most people here, come to think of it). In a forum like this, it is hard to tell where the mask is on and when it is off.
cedarchopper
24th September 2010, 11:45 AM
If he was truly psychopath, you would have known it long ago. What has he really done that makes you all the sudden classify him as a psychopath (now called sociopath)?
Liquid
24th September 2010, 11:51 AM
Seriously... man love... is it good?
I looked at that picture, and then your avatar right next to it. You are starting to scare me ximmy, are you a sociopath? :)
ximmy
24th September 2010, 11:54 AM
Seriously... man love... is it good?
I looked at that picture, and then your avatar right next to it. You are starting to scare me ximmy, are you a sociopath? :)
perhaps this is what occurs when gay men have lovers quarrels
Horn
24th September 2010, 11:58 AM
What do you mean "put the wood to me"? :whip
Exactly what kind of wood was it?
This is a bonafied question.
gunDriller
24th September 2010, 01:15 PM
(the term sociopath has been replaced with the term anti-social personality disorder, however I prefer sociopath as the former sounds much more benign and betrays reality)
A *friend* of 12 years is trying to put the wood to me in a big way. I did not realize he's a sociopath, as many sociopaths appear normal up until the point they twist off on you. This profile of the sociopath describes this criminal to a 't':
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
He's more of a garden variety sociopath appearing completely normal for the most part being on the low end of the scale rather than at the other end of the scale, the other end of the scale being a serial killer or child molester.
Any suggestions or input based on your previous experiences in dealing with a sociopath would be appreciated.
i'm not sure exactly what behavior you're trying to stop.
but the sociopath has an Achilles heel.
in general, i would suggest identifying the Achilles heel, and attacking it relentlessly but also remaining sensitive to the sociopath's feelings, for tactical reasons. if you cross them, it will make them angry. the more effective you are at stopping their behavior, the angrier they will be. you could hook em up to a blood pressure monitor and watch it rise.
also there is the aspect of defending yourself from ramifications, blowback, etc. sort of like, "Shields up, Scotty."
mamboni
24th September 2010, 01:18 PM
Has anyone ever told you that you lean towards the melodramatic? You need to lighten up and stop over-reacting to what is obvious tongue-and-cheek banter (by me). As for the OP being serious, I doubt it. He asks a broad and sweeping question whilst providing absolutely no specifics and little in the way of particulars. His situation could be interpreted in numerous ways. And yes, I suspect it is a come on. Perhaps I'm a bit jumpy from all the trolling going on here of late, and total lack of substantive discussions on gold and silver amidst the historic immolation of the dollar-based world financial system.
Capeche?
This isn't a "joke" thread. You shouldn't take it out on a new member. Just saying.
General,
I like you suffer from a minor failing: I generally take a person at his word and assume his seriousness and sincerity. And I would never be deliberately unkind to anyone. If the OP is sincere and I have misjudged him then I apologize. Certainly, new members who wish to contribute to GSUS should be treated with respect and open arms.
ximmy
24th September 2010, 01:58 PM
Has anyone ever told you that you lean towards the melodramatic? You need to lighten up and stop over-reacting to what is obvious tongue-and-cheek banter (by me). As for the OP being serious, I doubt it. He asks a broad and sweeping question whilst providing absolutely no specifics and little in the way of particulars. His situation could be interpreted in numerous ways. And yes, I suspect it is a come on. Perhaps I'm a bit jumpy from all the trolling going on here of late, and total lack of substantive discussions on gold and silver amidst the historic immolation of the dollar-based world financial system.
Capeche?
This isn't a "joke" thread. You shouldn't take it out on a new member. Just saying.
General,
I like you suffer from a minor failing: I generally take a person at his word and assume his seriousness and sincerity. And I would never be deliberately unkind to anyone. If the OP is sincere and I have misjudged him then I apologize. Certainly, new members who wish to contribute to GSUS should be treated with respect and open arms.
sooo..., my "man love" reply was inappropriate??? :-[
Liquid
24th September 2010, 02:18 PM
sooo..., my "man love" reply was inappropriate??? :-[
ximmy, I am a little concerned with your fixation on multiple men getting physical with each other, whether is is fighting or man love.
I'm sure mamboni has a medical term for this.
Sure, you can argue that men enjoying bikini clad women wrestling in mud is the same thing...but it is not, it is different I tell you!
Horn
24th September 2010, 02:59 PM
ximmy, I am a little concerned with your fixation on multiple men getting physical with each other, whether is is fighting or man love.
Why do you think she comes here?
Quit jeopardizing the membership...
There is no reason for you to be concerned.
Liquid
24th September 2010, 03:19 PM
Why do you think she comes here?
Quit jeopardizing the membership...
There is no reason for you to be concerned.
Ah lighten up Horn. ;D If a comment like that can jeopardize the membership, in respect to the site crashing constantly...we've got bigger issues to deal with.
ximmy
24th September 2010, 03:21 PM
It's all in good fun...
Dogman
24th September 2010, 03:35 PM
If you see one -----RUN!
Horn
24th September 2010, 03:41 PM
Ah lighten up Horn. ;D If a comment like that can jeopardize the membership, in respect to the site crashing constantly...we've got bigger issues to deal with.
Are you trying sweet talk me into bed with you, Jose?
Ain't happening, Sorry!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrfc8c6VkTA
sunnyandseventy
24th September 2010, 03:41 PM
If he was truly psychopath, you would have known it long ago. What has he really done that makes you all the sudden classify him as a psychopath (now called sociopath)?
One of my best friends is a psychopath. Known it for years. We still love him even though he's f*cked with us all. Why? Because he's hillarious, brilliant, and one of the most effective promoters of the Second Amendment who's responsible for scores of new marksmen.
Bullion_Bob
24th September 2010, 03:54 PM
People only get away with what you let them get away with. One thing that helps is not letting them get additional control over you by worrying about it needlessly, unless you think they are going to kill you, which is doubtful. If you can't say no to people, or make excuses, and dodge, then you perhaps have bigger things to deal with than this one individual.
I say meet up at your local gay bath house, tenderly shower each others beans, and see where the baby powder lands.
Book
24th September 2010, 08:19 PM
A *friend* of 12 years is trying to put the wood to me in a big way.
http://i755.photobucket.com/albums/xx197/MisterHuffstuffler/Mr-Garrison-Mr-Slave--8961.jpg
He swinging that thing with both hands?
:oo-->
mamboni
27th September 2010, 12:41 PM
............................................ :o
Spectrism
27th September 2010, 12:52 PM
Wow Mambo! You broke into Ponce's enclave to his control center where he displays the best of his hoard!
mamboni
27th September 2010, 01:13 PM
Wow Mambo! You broke into Ponce's enclave to his control center where he displays the best of his hoard!
When he caught me taking the picture, he gave me the "Barzini look;" you know that look "You better hand over the camera so I can destroy the film." I reminded him that it is a digital camera. He threatened to "keel me."
What does "keel me" mean? ::) ;D
ximmy
27th September 2010, 01:16 PM
Wow Mambo! You broke into Ponce's enclave to his control center where he displays the best of his hoard!
When he caught me taking the picture, he gave me the "Barzini look;" you know that look "You better hand over the camera so I can destroy the film. I reminded him that it is a digital camera. He threatened to "keel me."
What does "keel me" mean? ::) ;D
;D
Dogman
27th September 2010, 01:18 PM
Wow Mambo! You broke into Ponce's enclave to his control center where he displays the best of his hoard!
When he caught me taking the picture, he gave me the "Barzini look;" you know that look "You better hand over the camera so I can destroy the film. I reminded him that it is a digital camera. He threatened to "keel me."
What does "keel me" mean? ::) ;D
Doc
Do you live near boats in the water? ;D
:lol
Ponce
27th September 2010, 01:20 PM
In answer to your question........YES.........everytime that I look at myself in the mirrow, and that's why I stay away from everyone.
Spectrism
27th September 2010, 01:32 PM
Ponce, I see 12 rolls.... are they just for showin or blowin? Also, is the number 12 significant? Like, do you use only one roll per month or is it one per year(Cheryl Crow technique)?
bellevuebully
27th September 2010, 01:35 PM
Holy shit this thread is funny. Nice to see for a change.
Ok, back to business.......is this physcopath a jew??
Ponce
27th September 2010, 01:40 PM
Spec? as the picture shows........those are only for my everyday use........the rest are in hiding.
bellevuebully
27th September 2010, 01:41 PM
People only get away with what you let them get away with. .
I agree with that. Also, don't know for sure, could be totally talking out my ass, but don't these kinds like to act under the guise of cover.....not letting anyone else know what is going on? If the issue isn't too sensitive ;D (easy on that one boyz, I'm trying to make a point) expose what is going on. Game over.
I suspect it is very thenthitive tho. <<<for Manboney, you crathy bathturd
I say meet up at your local gay bath house, tenderly shower each others beans, and see where the baby powder lands.
mamboni
27th September 2010, 01:57 PM
People only get away with what you let them get away with. .
I agree with that. Also, don't know for sure, could be totally talking out my ass, but don't these kinds like to act under the guise of cover.....not letting anyone else know what is going on? If the issue isn't too sensitive ;D (easy on that one boyz, I'm trying to make a point) expose what is going on. Game over.
I suspect it is very thenthitive tho. <<<for Manboney, you crathy bathturd
I say meet up at your local gay bath house, tenderly shower each others beans, and see where the baby powder lands.
Maybe you're right: we should get everything out in the open so that the healing can begin. :D :D :D
Dogman
27th September 2010, 02:05 PM
People only get away with what you let them get away with. .
I agree with that. Also, don't know for sure, could be totally talking out my ass, but don't these kinds like to act under the guise of cover.....not letting anyone else know what is going on? If the issue isn't too sensitive ;D (easy on that one boyz, I'm trying to make a point) expose what is going on. Game over.
I suspect it is very thenthitive tho. <<<for Manboney, you crathy bathturd
I say meet up at your local gay bath house, tenderly shower each others beans, and see where the baby powder lands.
Maybe you're right: we should get everything out in the open so that the healing can begin. :D :D :D
Dam!
Taking no prisoners to day I see mamboni :lol
midnight rambler
27th September 2010, 02:12 PM
Not much constructive to be found here save a handful of posts. Now that the jackasses have come out of the woodwork, thread closed.
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