Life - Do you live it because you're here, or to improve it?(Update on Step-Dad)

[General of Darkness]

My step dad of 32 years is done. He's been slowly fading over the past year. He's 83, last week he was 117 lbs, and he's 6 feet tall, today he weighed in at 110. The reports came back he's just loaded with tumors in his system. When I look at this it bums me out, it really does, because it's life, a beginning and an end, and what you do with it is what makes you, not just as a person, but it defines you. BUT I also remember when he entered my life. He was infatuated with my mother to the point that I, the pain in the ass, was sent to boarding school. Just to explain how funny and b.s. this was. I was 13 years old, I went to Croatia that summer to help with the harvast etc, I showed up on a Saturday evening with my bags in hand to a room with other bags for my Sunday departure to boarding school. It was surreal. Very much a WTF moment.

I didn't know what to do, other than accept my fate. I will say this, boarding school was good for me, I was definitely going down the wrong path. When I submitted for colleges I liked I was accepted by Colorado State University, so before I even got home my bags were packed and was going to Colorado to get a head start over the summer. Half way there I received a letter from the University of San Fransisco with a full ride soccer scholar ship, but that was still in CA, so I should still go to CO.

Just so people know that are reading this, I'm not pissing and moaning about this I'm just reflecting on it, and also reflecting on his life and his decisions. By the time I came back I had become a man. So now over the last 20 years I've known him, after becoming a man, I've been more of son to him than his own children. Now I'm watching him die.

He wasn't a bad man, but he built his life around my mother. Other than producing a few kids with another women he won't be remembered. The perfect example of dust to dust. He never really stood for anything, he just paid his taxes and died.

I do wish him a safe journey to Valhalla if it exists, but I can't see myself in the remainder of my life not working towards improving the situation of my people which would in turn improve the situation of all peoples. I'm not sure what else to say, and hopefully I made sense.

FYI - I know people are going to try and pick this apart, but I'm not vested in this, it's just the cycle of life, and if we're to be judged we should be judged on our actions or lack of.

Rambling off.

[k-os]

What a pleasant, heart-felt post from you, General of Darkness.

Thanks for sharing, and I am sorry about your step dad. Dying is a part of life, although it may not seem like it to you, he did more than just pay taxes. After all, he did inspire you by example (of what not to do) and create a fire in you that makes you want to do more.

[zap]

I now how you feel, It makes me look at my own mortality, funny when my husbands parents died, he told me we shouldn't be so sad they lived a great life they worked hard and played hard, had a lot of fun, and we're right behind them....... Little did he know how soon behind them, about 7 months.


I have no answers

[Dogman]

Sorry for you.

He loved your mother and I assume she loved him. That is something, so he will be remembered by his family and you were part of that. Did he help you become a man? I think so from your post. So you will carry a part of him,if not in blood but maybe in your heart. And that means something and do not take it lightly.

If he cared for you as you said he was a father to you, that is a gift from him to you to carry the rest of your life.

Honor him in the way you live and carry on in life, For that is what life is all about and help your mother anyway you can if you love her. She may need your support. And that is the way of life.

May he pass with no pain and be in peace.

[General of Darkness]

I now how you feel, It makes me look at my own mortality, funny when my husbands parents died, he told me we should't be so sad they lived a great life they worked hard and played hard, had a lot of fun, and we're right behind them....... Little did he know how soon behind them, about 7 months.


I have no answers


Nub was a good guy, and it brought a tear to my eye when I heard his passing. To K_os, you're right. I've been very vocal, this situation has just slapped me in the face that I need to be MORE VOCAL. And it looks like we might get some financing to do what we do as a full time business.

[Liquid]

General, I believe to be on a path of constant improvement, yet live day by day. Goals keep us focused, yet life can change in an instant...so it's best to appreciate all the little things we enjoy, each day, we get to enjoy this wild ride of life.

The last year or so, I lost 5 men that were inspirations to me, men that had made big differences in my life. They all went tragically, and unexpected. Life can change that quick.

So far, life just seems to get better, and my philosophy is to keep it that way. Day by day, little improvements, here and there.

This is why I make no plans. There's a reason, why we all go to sleep at night, and start a new day. There's a reason, why the sun sets each night, and rises in the morning. It's to remind us to not look to tomorrow but enjoy each day for what it is, why we are here.

[General of Darkness]

Liquid, I definitely didn't clarify my position. We have to at all cost take back this country and not by hook or crook. This country needs to be given back to the people, and that means physically taking it back. So on an individual personal level, we're going to have to get ourselves dirty.

[Book]

http://www.traditioninaction.org/bkreviews/ImagesA/A_025_MotherTeresa.jpg

Mother Teresa (26 August 1910 – 5 September 1997), born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu[1] (pronounced [aɡˈnɛs ˈɡɔndʒa bɔjaˈdʒiu]), was a Catholic nun of Albanian[2][3] ethnicity and Indian citizenship,[4] who founded the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, India in 1950. For over 45 years she ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying, while guiding the Missionaries of Charity's expansion, first throughout India and then in other countries. Following her death she was beatified by Pope John Paul II and given the title Blessed Teresa of Calcutta.[5][6]

By the 1970s, she was internationally famed as a humanitarian and advocate for the poor and helpless, due in part to a documentary and book Something Beautiful for God by Malcolm Muggeridge. She won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 and India's highest civilian honour, the Bharat Ratna, in 1980 for her humanitarian work. Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity continued to expand, and at the time of her death it was operating 610 missions in 123 countries, including hospices and homes for people with HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis, soup kitchens, children's and family counselling programs, orphanages, and schools.

She has been praised by many individuals, governments and organizations; however, she has also faced a diverse range of criticism. These include objections by various individuals and groups, including Christopher Hitchens, Michael Parenti, Aroup Chatterjee, Vishva Hindu Parishad, against the proselytizing focus of her work including a strong stance against contraception and abortion, a belief in the spiritual goodness of poverty and alleged baptisms of the dying. Medical journals also criticised the standard of medical care in her hospices and concerns were raised about the opaque nature in which donated money was spent. In 2010 on the 100th anniversary of her birth, she was honoured around the world, and her work praised by Indian President Pratibha Patil.[7]

|--0--|

Even Mother Teresa has her detractors. The death of someone personally close does allow us to reflect on the Meaning Of Life. Many if not most adolescent males have experienced conflicts with their dads or step-dads in the normal course of Life and the fortunate eventually reconcile and become friends as adults in later life.

[Liquid]

Liquid, I definitely didn't clarify my position. We have to at all cost take back this country and not by hook or crook. This country needs to be given back to the people, and that means physically taking it back. So on an individual personal level, we're going to have to get ourselves dirty.


I know your position, General. I'm just giving some food for thought. Very few people truly understand what it's like to live day by day. I think if we get our hands dirty...that point will be driven home. My hands have been dirty before. I'm not looking forward to getting them dirty again. It takes awhile to clean hands.

[Ponce]

Even if I am now living in paradise and with no money worries I feel that I am only existing and not living, maybe is due to my past life where there was always a new world around the corner or maybe it is because I don't have a mate.......who know.

My only salvation for now is for WTSHTF gets here and I can do something in this Micky Mouse of a one mule town.........sometimes I feel like burning down the house and just taking off because the house and everything in it makes me a slave of things.........if there is one thing holding me back is my cat, she would never be happy traveling.

[Libertarian_Guard]

Interesting thread, with interesting thoughts and perspectives.

My take is that we merely exist for the larger part of our lives. The part where we are trail blazing and taking real risk is a very small part of anyone’s life, except possibly for some who die young. Now if you’re talking about a life of service to others, which is sometimes claimed as the highest calling, great. It would certainly be a better world if we all put others ahead of ourselves, but the world does not operate like that, and in the end, you’ve got to take care of #1 and family first.

[Horn]

Is a good place for balance here too, it is possible to get lost in improving life, as it carries an aspect of control to it.

I'm there most of the time in my mind is anyways, but the end goal is always the appreciation of life, and all the experiences that come with it.

The world will never be perfect, but life is from the get go.

[Libertytree]

I don't know if it's our job to leave our mark on the world or if it's the worlds job that leaves its mark on us?

I've known a few people that left a very profound mark on me, certainly nothing worldwide but still things of consequence, things that really matter, things that if had touched the broader world would have made a greater difference all in all. We all though deal in smaller, finite worlds and not the grandiose worlds of earth movers and shakers that stand out in political and popular culture. So, I've come to the conclusion that making small differences in other peoples lives , one at a time, is more important than making a difference to thousands or millions.

If it makes any sense....my life may be of no consequence but my life is not inconsequential.

I think Libertarian Guard has it right though, we do mainly just exist to perpetuate our existance, what we do above and beyond that is all gravy or karma or blessings or whatever you want to call it.

[Neuro]

http://www.traditioninaction.org/bkreviews/ImagesA/A_025_MotherTeresa.jpg

Mother Teresa (26 August 1910 – 5 September 1997), born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu[1] (pronounced [aɡˈnɛs ˈɡɔndʒa bɔjaˈdʒiu]), was a Catholic nun of Albanian[2][3] ethnicity and Indian citizenship,[4] who founded the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, India in 1950. For over 45 years she ministered to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying, while guiding the Missionaries of Charity's expansion, first throughout India and then in other countries. Following her death she was beatified by Pope John Paul II and given the title Blessed Teresa of Calcutta.[5][6]

By the 1970s, she was internationally famed as a humanitarian and advocate for the poor and helpless, due in part to a documentary and book Something Beautiful for God by Malcolm Muggeridge. She won the Nobel
Peace Prize in 1979 and India's highest civilian honour, the Bharat Ratna, in 1980 for her humanitarian work. Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity continued to expand, and at the time of her death it was operating 610 missions in 123 countries, including hospices and homes for people with HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis, soup kitchens, children's and family counselling programs, orphanages, and schools.

She has been praised by many individuals, governments and organizations; however, she has
also faced a diverse range of criticism. These include objections by various individuals and groups, including Christopher Hitchens, Michael Parenti, Aroup Chatterjee, Vishva Hindu Parishad, against the proselytizing focus of her work including a strong stance against contraception and abortion, a belief in the spiritual goodness of poverty and alleged baptisms of the dying. Medical journals also criticised the standard of medical care in her hospices and concerns were raised about the opaque nature in which donated money was spent. In 2010 on the 100th anniversary of her birth, she was honoured around the world, and
her work praised by Indian President Pratibha Patil.[7]

|--0--|

Even Mother Teresa has her detractors. The death of someone personally close does allow us to reflect on the Meaning Of Life. Many if not most adolescent males have experienced conflicts with their dads or step-dads in the normal course of Life and the fortunate eventually reconcile and become friends as adults in
later life.
I met and spoke with mother Theresa in Calcutta Easter 1995, amazing woman, but very small and frail looking...

[chad]

i am one of those simple minded individuals that will volunteer the idea that maybe loving your mother is why he was here all along.

[ArgenteumTelum]

General,

Bless this man as you have for the opportunity given you to learn wisdom, an opportunity you seized. Your choice could just as easily been to cary anger and/or grudges about the situation. He, too, received gifts from you. In the cosmic field of all potentials, choices were made that altered destinies and time lines. I consider you fortunate and wealthy.

Be in peace.

AT

[Filthy Keynes]

Good post. (I went to boarding school in Europe too).

[MNeagle]

My sympathy GoD. You've been through a lot.

My Dad died a month ago, and we had little notice to travel to him, to say our goodbyes, and then he passed away the next day.

We were lucky to say goodbye, many people don't get that chance. So while you can, talk to him.
Say your frustrations, say your thanks, say your questions, say your love.

And listen to his answers if he is able to communicate. But let your love shine, it will be the best parting gift a father could want.
He'd be proud of you.

[Spectrism]

Is he still sharp minded? Is he able to reason?

If he still can live life, I would get him dosed with baking soda. Knock those tumors out quick. They are from fungus.

See Tullio Simoncini's videos about that.


As for purpose.... you said something profound. Dust to dust. We are much that of ourselves. I often ask myself the same question. What have I accomplished?

It won't matter how much money you made, what palaces or castles you built, how many people liked you, whether you were an athlete, if you could sing like an angel or play an instrument with the best... no, none of these matters.

At death, if you do not have new life, you are destined for misery. There is one thing that matters: your relationship with the LIFE-GIVER. If you know Him and He knows you, life is worth the living.

[Twisted Titan]

My Respect and empathy to The General at this sensitive time.

[General of Darkness]

UPDATE - My step-dad passed yesterday afternoon. Basically his heart rate just slowed until it stopped. He had a good life, and hopefully he's in a better place.

[Book]

My condolences to you General. I lost my mom and dad twenty-five years ago and still miss them today.

[General of Darkness]

My condolences to you General. I lost my mom and dad twenty-five years ago and still miss them today.


Thanks Book, I guess there won't be any dick stabbings today.

[zap]

So Sorry for your loss General, God Bless you and your family.

[Ponce]

My dad worked til the age of 75 because he was needed and then after being retired he continued to go to work till the age of 84 when he was thrown to the grund while getting on the bus and broke his hip and shoulder...........he sat at his desk, at home, everyday till the day before he went to the hopital where he passed on a week later.......at his desk he was always working on his ideas and inventions and had the mind of a 20 years old.

[osoab]

My condolences to you and your family General. Remember to celebrate his life.

[DMac]

My condolences General.

Regards

[MNeagle]

Deepest sympathies General.

[Celtic Rogue]

RIP and thanks to all fathers, step dads and the like. Where would we all be without them one way or another! Life is short enjoy each other while you can.

[StackerKen]

today is fist time ive seen this thread

My condolences to you and your family also General.

[willie pete]

Condolences General

[General of Darkness]

Thanks to everyone for the kind comments.

Apparently three of his four kids are fighting over money and were talking smack to my mother, and about me. Thank GOD she told me to stay away yesterday because it would have gotten ugly. It's pretty amazing as I look at it today. I was more of son to him than his own children, and what did I get over 33 years, not one birthday card, and was left out of the will, and the money isn't important I do pretty good, but this is the one time in my life, that the lack of "The thought is was counts" and it really hurts.

I did meet one son and his wife today, and they are good people, and I think that after everything is said and done, I made some friends.

[FreeEnergy]

General, my condolences . Stay strong.

Don't worry about the will, good things come around.

I didn't lost my parents yet, lucky me...but my wife lost her dad. She wasn't close to him, she even had some bad memories when he wasn't there, or asked her for money etc. At the end, he died when she was in a different country, and she didn't even know it few years after...talk about "independent woman". She deeply regrets it now. So you are one lucky guy you had to spend all this time with him.

[k-os]

Sorry to hear about your step dad, General of Darkness. Take care of your mom, she needs you now. |--0--|

(I have a really slow aircard connection right now, and when I opened the window for additional smileys, the hug was the only thing to show up. The interwebs knows you could use it.)