Old Flame

[EE_]

This morning I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called 'out-of-the- blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted.

"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit grayer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a guy with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to f*ck off.

[ximmy]

she has some nice girl friends now too... :D

[Awoke]

http://www.webwombat.com.au/entertainment/humour/images/302sexy-lingerie.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_InFGA2nsCXE/Rns1Zs-JTlI/AAAAAAAAAC0/GNarVYLVdpU/s400/Fat%2BGirl.jpg

[Shami-Amourae]

You mean she needs money?

[ximmy]

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

[Ponce]

My X found me once again after 32 years and we saw each other twice........no more........the problem was not her but me..........she wanted to use some of my tp >:(

[Cebu_4_2]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_InFGA2nsCXE/Rns1Zs-JTlI/AAAAAAAAAC0/GNarVYLVdpU/s400/Fat%2BGirl.jpg

Num Num

[1970 silver art]

Yep. Big is definitely beautiful in my very honest opinion. Women with plenty of meat on their bones can be an attractive thing for certain men. ;D

[Gaillo]

Yep. Big is definitely beautiful in my very honest opinion. Women with plenty of meat on their bones can be an attractive thing for certain men. ;D



More cushion for the pushin'? ;D

[General of Darkness]

Best thread ever. ;D

[1970 silver art]

Yep. Big is definitely beautiful in my very honest opinion. Women with plenty of meat on their bones can be an attractive thing for certain men. ;D



More cushion for the pushin'? ;D


:ROFL:

Yeah. Something like that. ;D

[hoarder]

Yep. Big is definitely beautiful in my very honest opinion. Women with plenty of meat on their bones can be an attractive thing for certain men. ;D



After viewing the pics, I don't think that's "meat" on their bones. You can have miss "built-in-waterbed"!

Have a nice evening! ;D

[Gaillo]

Presenting... the awesome "broads" (heheheheahhhh) of Krispy Kreme!!!! ;D

[1970 silver art]

Hmmmmm......... "Ms. November" is the best one IMO. "Ms. January" is a close second and she probably would have been the best one but I had to deduct some points because she has too many tattoos on her body.

[ximmy]

Hmmmmm......... "Ms. November" is the best one IMO. "Ms. January" is a close second and she probably would have been the best one but I had to deduct some points because she has too many tattoos on her body.


silver art... :ROFL: If I remember right, you are very skinny... I am thin too... We, as skinny persons need partners with some extra flesh on their bones, so our bones don't bump and clank around at night... LOL... but yeah, as been said earlier,,, it is not meat on those bones

[RJB]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQWJog7eYqY

[1970 silver art]

Hmmmmm......... "Ms. November" is the best one IMO. "Ms. January" is a close second and she probably would have been the best one but I had to deduct some points because she has too many tattoos on her body.


silver art... :ROFL: If I remember right, you are very skinny... I am thin too... We, as skinny persons need partners with some extra flesh on their bones, so our bones don't bump and clank around at night... LOL... but yeah, as been said earlier,,, it is not meat on those bones


Yeah I think that I still pass as a small person. I am 5' 8" and weigh 140 Lbs.

[Gaillo]

All ya'all are gonna love this!!! ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzsWuqNlLK4

[General of Darkness]

My junk is average, I'm not sure I could reach pay dirt with these fat bitches>

[EE_]

WHEN GIRLS DON'T PUT OUT

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said,'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier..'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man, enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[keehah]

One of the advantages of having basically no plot is having a scene for any occasion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Asc9Ip2ph4

[ShortJohnSilver]

My junk is average, I'm not sure I could reach pay dirt with these fat bitches>


Slap her on the broad side and ride in on the wave, I think, GoD...

[General of Darkness]

My junk is average, I'm not sure I could reach pay dirt with these fat bitches>


Slap her on the broad side and ride in on the wave, I think, GoD...


John, you are a sick fucker, but I honor your creativity while throwing up in my mouth. >:(

[ximmy]

My junk is average, I'm not sure I could reach pay dirt with these fat bitches>


Slap her on the broad side and ride in on the wave, I think, GoD...


John, you are a sick f*cker, but I honor your creativity while throwing up in my mouth. >:(


General... He's just saying, "Don't short yourself, there's always a way" :P

[Mouse]

stab her in the dick.......


SHITD

FHITA, idunno

[General of Darkness]

My junk is average, I'm not sure I could reach pay dirt with these fat bitches>


Slap her on the broad side and ride in on the wave, I think, GoD...


John, you are a sick f*cker, but I honor your creativity while throwing up in my mouth. >:(


General... He's just saying, "Don't short yourself, there's always a way" :P


If I wasn't interested in seeing your, oh never mind damn it... >:(

[keehah]

Anecdotal evidence much in life is relative:

The redhead in Ximmy's post is beginning to look attractive. :-\ ;D

[Spectrism]

Yep. Big is definitely beautiful in my very honest opinion. Women with plenty of meat on their bones can be an attractive thing for certain men. ;D






LOL... meat? or fat? With these fine beauties, you have to worry about them eating the meat OFF YOUR bones! And then she will go back to the 3 dozen donuts you brought her hoping it would keep her satisfied for a few minutes and not eating you.

[Twisted Titan]

Sexy Sexy.............

[madfranks]

Some of those broads look like they could be the Michelin Man's wife.


And then they have a baby:

http://www.thrillist.com/pics/michelin.jpg

[Book]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gmv9V24TMWY/TCtD5FfpQjI/AAAAAAAADtw/sdA2mEbohl8/s400/fat_chick_drinking_from_tits_thumb.jpg

[horseshoe3]

My junk is average, I'm not sure I could reach pay dirt with these fat bitches>


First you would have to find it. I recommend sprinkling some baby powder on her and looking for the wet spot.

[Ponce]

I simply had two rules with all my women's..........NO KIDS, DON'T GET FAT.........anything else will fight about it but break those two rules and I will simply walk away.

[gunDriller]

Presenting... the awesome "broads" (heheheheahhhh) of Krispy Kreme!!!! ;D


i wonder how they look in a zero-gravity environment.

[Dogman]

Presenting... the awesome "broads" (heheheheahhhh) of Krispy Kreme!!!! ;D


i wonder how they look in a zero-gravity environment.



A lot more Rounded and anything that droops now won't! ;D

:imskerd:

[cedarchopper]

Sexy Sexy.............


'chicks of walmart', I would have never guessed that ;]

[1970 silver art]

Yep. Big is definitely beautiful in my very honest opinion. Women with plenty of meat on their bones can be an attractive thing for certain men. ;D






LOL... meat? or fat? With these fine beauties, you have to worry about them eating the meat OFF YOUR bones! And then she will go back to the 3 dozen donuts you brought her hoping it would keep her satisfied for a few minutes and not eating you.



Pork?...............

Since I am small person (5' 8" & approx. 140 lbs), then I would be considered an appetizer the for the plus-size hotties. :D If I was ever brave enough to date a plus-size hottie, then I will bring plenty of pepperoni pizzas in order to satisfy her and to avoid getting eaten. :D

[ximmy]

Remember Al Bundy.. charged with crimes against obesity...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB4LYHO9zhk