Things are getting hard out there.........by me :)

[Ponce]

My Italian friend asked me for a loan to save his house, someone from Miami asked me for a loan to save her house.........the lady who works on my comp asked me today that she needed $125,000 and that I would get twice that ammount in one year...........................well "If you don't hold it, you don't own it"... Ponce.......................and I own it hahahahahahahahaa.

I told the first two to sell at whatever the price and later they will be able to buy at 1/3 the price.....and to the last one the same message but with a small twist that she liked.

The way that I see it I need only 100% of what I have to survive in what is to come......not 110% or 200%, so that I am where I belong.

[platinumdude]

Hey Ponce, I'm out of TP. Can I borrow some? I will bring you back two ply when I am able.

[Horn]

What happened to "silver island", I was hopping to jet over there soon?

[Ponce]

Dude? bit your tongue young man.......I'll sell only certified new tp........well Horn, in about two years the landing strip for your jet will be there............

[Trinity]

Some one asked you for $125,000 ? Why did she think you had that kind of money sitting around?

[Buddha]

Don't fret Ponce, you don't want that riff raff on Silver Island. Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/6092/silverisland2.png

[gunDriller]

Dude? bit your tongue young man.......I'll sell only certified new tp........well Horn, in about two years the landing strip for your jet will be there............


hate to break it to you, butt (no pun intended) TP is NOT a necessity.

the goal is to wipe the smelly brown stuff off, and to leave the bathroom without your hands smelling like the smelly brown stuff.

this can be accomplished without TP.

but i did commandeer a roll last week when I was at Motel 6.

[Ponce]

Hey Gun? no wonders you gringos wash your hands everytime that you take a crap......I almost never do because I use tp..............you guys and the muslims will get along just great, just learn to use only your left hand when cleaning yourselves.

[Ponce]

I didn't want to start a new thread for this...........I just found out by accident that my lap top will blink 5 times every 2.5 seconds ........... I saw while goofing around with a tv camera and looking at it on one of my monitors.........I wonder why?........you cannot see it by looking at your lap top.

[mamboni]

I didn't want to start a new thread for this...........I just found out by accident that my lap top will blink 5 times every 2.5 seconds ........... I saw while goofing around with a tv camera and looking at it on one of my monitors.........I wonder why?........you cannot see it by looking at your lap top.


Yes, this is an important symptom. There must be monitoring spyware installed on one of your video display EPROM chips. This program turns your monitor into a giant camera which can record you in real time and transmit the moving images to a remote server over your internet connection. It is almost a certainty that they now have a fix on your TP stash. You should take the necessary precautions. And whatever you do, turn off the laptop before you undress for bed! ;D

[Ponce]

Turn it off before going to bed?.........HELL NOOOOOOOO maybe they will get what they deserve by getting a heart attack after seeing me naked.......why hell, that's why I never look at mysef in the mirrow when naked.

[StreetsOfGold]

Dude? bit your tongue young man.......I'll sell only certified new tp........well Horn, in about two years the landing strip for your jet will be there............


hate to break it to you, butt (no pun intended) TP is NOT a necessity.



you're single then?

[Neuro]

Hey Gun? no wonders you gringos wash your hands everytime that you take a crap......I almost never do because I use tp..............you guys and the muslims will get along just great, just learn to use only your left hand when cleaning yourselves.

You shitty old Cuban! TP or not it's still a good idea to wash your hands after being to the toilet!

[Ponce]

Well, at least I do wash my hands BEFORE touching my pecker, who knows what my hands has touched that then will be trasmitted to my pecker?...........like when playing cards at the club, do you know how many hands have touched those cards? and how many of those hands have held their peckers? and how many don't wash their hands after taking a piss? or scraching their ass or balls?...........you guys think backwards and that's why the country is in so much trouble............by not washing your hands before taking a piss you will transmit all that to your pecket that will then go back in your pants...............but at least you will get sick with clean hands.

[gunDriller]

Hey Gun? no wonders you gringos wash your hands everytime that you take a crap......I almost never do because I use tp..............you guys and the muslims will get along just great, just learn to use only your left hand when cleaning yourselves.


you're Proud of using TP instead of a rag or a bidet ? why does it matter ?

one of the Safeway clerks i used to know made it a point to share his own experience. when he was a kid, they used books. i guess the phone book would work.

personally i like to go in a lake with baby catfish and let them nibble at my butt.

Ewwww !

[Ponce]

Gun? I have use rocks and wood, and other things, to wipe my ass with..........you should have learned by now that my tp is nothing more than a punch line to make my jokes here.........but, who knows.

Talking about a bidet, when Castro came out of the hill he had many farmer with him that had never been out of their villages......and of course they took over the best hotels in Havana......the story goes that one of them got all excited when he found a water fountain to drink from in the bathroom.

[Horn]

Talking about a bidet, when Castro came out of the hill he had many farmer with him that had never been out of their villages......and of course they took over the best hotels in Havana......the story goes that one of them got all excited when he found a water fountain to drink from in the bathroom.


Now that's a treehugger.

[gunDriller]

Gun? I have use rocks and wood, and other things, to wipe my ass with..........you should have learned by now that my tp is nothing more than a punch line to make my jokes here.........but, who knows.


which part are you kidding about & which part are you serious about ?

rocks & wood - really ?

that's creative, but - it might be enough to make me spring for a 24 pack.

FRN's may not work so well because they don't break down so well in the septic tank.

i didn't used to mind the price of TP when it was 25 cents a roll. but it's gone up.

[BeefJerky]

If you need that much TP. You must be eating alot of canned crap.

Try eating real whole food.

[Ponce]

I didn't say that "I need it" but only that I had it......... but you are right about my eating habits, I have all that I might need to cook anything and yet.........I don't know how to cook..................hard for me to find a 18 year old, blue eyes, blond and with a body that wont quit and KNOWS how to cook to move in with me :boohoo :boohoo :boohoo..........why hell, I really don't know why, after all I am only 71 years old :oo-->

[Horn]

I don't know how to cook..................hard for me to find a 18 year old, blue eyes, blond and with a body that wont quit and KNOWS how to cook to move in with me :boohoo :boohoo :boohoo..........why hell, I really don't know why, after all I am only 71 years old :oo-->


What are you doing in Oregon?

Your gonna have to move to India for charmers with that kind of experience.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtsHF-McG6U

[Ponce]

Danmet Horn, I want to be a SURVIVALIST, not a dead man..........with something like that around I would die not on the first night but on the first hour........who knows, maybe in the first minute...............but what a way to go.

[Horn]

I thought you were receiving low level radiation doses, already?

Gotta keep it shakin to drop those extra rads. ;D

[Buddha]

Who knows? in a year or so your Ponce Jr. may be mutated. So long Viagra, hello 18 year old belly dancer. Indians have a predisposition for a man with real wealth! 8) Things definitely are getting hard out there. ;)

[Ponce]

Hard out there hell, I'll like if it gets hard here...........heheheheheheheheeheeh.........hello eighteen years old.