The joke short

[erroloCom]

Humor

This lady gets on a plane with her pet poodle. A man sits next to her.
A few hours into the flight the man lights up a cigarette. The poodle
starts to cough and weeze. The lady asks the man politly to put out the
cigarette. He says"I paid for first class and I'm gonna smoke!"
A few hours later the man lights up another cigarette. The poodle again
starts to cough and wheeze. SO the lady asks, not so politley, for him
to put the cigarette out. He again says,"I paid for first class lady,
and I'm gonna smoke!", so she waits.
Eventually the man lights up another cigarette. The dog almost chokes
to death. The lady says,"Listen, I make a deal with you, I'll throw my
poodle out the window if you will through your cigarette out the
window.", well the man agrees its a fair bargian and the both toss out
the window the poodle and the cigarette.
When the plane lands, the lady gets of the plane and to her surprise the
poodle is sitting on the wing of the plane! And guess what it has in
it's mouth???

_____________
Investment spam link removed

[Serpo]

There are funnier jokes.....hahaha

Phone keeps ringing
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

Phone Won't Stop Ringing?

Here's What You Do

Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it.

The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.

From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number.

Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its stationery.

The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24 hours a day didn't make it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands.

At 9 o'clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the motel and asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leoloa said, "No problem. How many nights?"

A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a suite with two bedrooms for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the Presidential Suite on the 10th floor was available for $600 a night. The secretary said that she would take it and asked if the hotel wanted a deposit. "No, that won't be necessary," Leola said. "We trust you."

The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she booked an electric appliance manufacturers' convention for Memorial Day weekend, a college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans from World War II.

She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that she could watch her favorite soap opera, but her biggest challenge came in the afternoon when a mother called to book the ballroom for her daughter's wedding in June.

Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if she would be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to take care of it. The mother said that she would prefer the hotel to handle the floral arrangements. Then the question of valet parking came up. Once again Leola was helpful. "There's no charge for valet parking, but we always recommend that the client tips the drivers."

Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster area.

People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet Sixteen parties and were all told there were no such events.

Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the motel might go bankrupt. Her phone rang, and an executive from Marriott said, "We're prepared to offer you $200,000 for the motel."

Leola replied. "We'll take it, but only if you change the telephone number."

[Gaillo]

User has been banned for spam. Arrive on this forum from Togo, with a spamcorp ICQ and sig line with a link to an investment broker - then post a joke as a pretext to get your link seen? Not on my watch! :(

[osoab]

User has been banned for spam. Arrive on this forum from Togo, with a spamcorp ICQ and sig line with a link to an investment broker - then post a joke as a pretext to get your link seen? Not on my watch! :(


I was wondering about the Togo thing.

[osoab]

Out of curiosity, this spammer had to confirm by email correct? So is this just a rouge spammer?

[Gaillo]

Out of curiosity, this spammer had to confirm by email correct? So is this just a rouge spammer?

Yes. JQP is letting new users through in batches, once he confirms the mod(s) are aware they're on the way. He's been able to weed out most of the spammers, but an occasional one gets through. He's let in about 20 new users in the last 2 days, I ended up banning 3 of them and erasing their spamthreads.

[Winston Smith]

i find these websites handy.
http://spam-ip.com/
http://www.stopforumspam.com/

[joboo]

Was beginning to wonder...but honestly....that joke was really shit.

Truth be told I have taken more amusing shits, even with gas pains, on several occasions.

[Olmstein]

Yes. JQP is letting new users through in batches, once he confirms the mod(s) are aware they're on the way. He's been able to weed out most of the spammers, but an occasional one gets through. He's let in about 20 new users in the last 2 days, I ended up banning 3 of them and erasing their spamthreads.

Are you going to fix the software so it says "banned" under the username, instead of "junior member"?

[Gaillo]

Are you going to fix the software so it says "banned" under the username, instead of "junior member"?

Yet ANOTHER thing on the "to-do" list - for after we get you all some new themes and fix some admin issues. Patience folks... we'll get there!

[Hatha Sunahara]

So you have a procedural filter for spammers. I'm just wondering how many of the new members are trolls. I presume we will just have to wait and see. I for one will not feed them, but call them out.

Hatha

[Buddha]

So this guy asks this other guy what he got his wife for her birthday. "A broom and a dildo" "Why a broom and a dildo?" "So if she doesn't like the broom she can go fuck her self"