Why Men and Women Cant be friends

[General of Darkness]

Because of ONE SIMPLE THING, you have a VAGINA.

http://64.34.162.133/uploads2/40118_1_5_2009_7_54_37_PM_-_with_this_I_will_control_your_life.jpg



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=player_embedded

[Dogman]

Bunch of truth there!

[po boy]

Why men and women can't be friends...come one lemme just and the always famous you know you want to. Sure fire friendship killer right there.

[mightymanx]

http://quotesfactory.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/funny-George-Carlin-quote.jpg

[Ponce]

I did have a woman friend, but only after we had sex about 12 times with no sex after that.......and only "friend" with my dance partner, we realise that we needed to have a sharp and wanting feeling about each other that help us dance better and in a very sexual and sensual way, we made the guys want her and the girls want me...............we usually danced for two hours and then she went hunting and went hunting..........usually it took us only fifteen minutes to hook up with someone else for the rest of the night.

[General of Darkness]

I did have a woman friend, but only after we had sex about 12 times with no sex after that.......and only "friend" with my dance partner, we realise that we needed to have a sharp and wanting feeling about each other that help us dance better and in a very sexual and sensual way, we made the guys want her and the girls want me...............we usually danced for two hours and then she went hunting and went hunting..........usually it took us only fifteen minutes to hook up with someone else for the rest of the night.

Was this before WWI or WWII or do we have to go back to the civil war? :)

[mightymanx]

Was this before WWI or WWII or do we have to go back to the civil war? :)

Spanish American war.

[Glass]

I watched a buck 30 of that. So the answer is yes and no BUT the answer from both sides was the same wasn't it?

Guy will be friends because he hopes he can get the distance. Girl will be friends because he hopes he can get the distance.

I've given 303 thanks. Thats an important number but not like 222. Still important just a different kind of important.

[Dogman]

Well there is always the war of 1812.

[Ponce]

HahahahahhahahahahahahAAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAH.......o uch, my belly is still hurting.....this was the Disco Era 1976-1980.

The best time was when the song ended and out of about 30 couple in the dance floor the only ones left was her and I......I was floating on a cloud and dancing with the stars where there was only the beat of the music and her....that night I got 5 new students that wanted to learn my style of dancing..... I gave it the Cuban beat to my dance, people love it.

[Sparky]

I watched a buck 30 of that. So the answer is yes and no BUT the answer from both sides was the same wasn't it?

Guy will be friends because he hopes he can get the distance. Girl will be friends because he hopes he can get the distance.

I've given 303 thanks. Thats an important number but not like 222. Still important just a different kind of important.

You should watch the rest of it, as the interviewer eventually causes the women to second-guess their original answers. It was fascinating to watch the look on their faces change as the light bulbs began to shine over their heads!

[Dogman]

You should watch the rest of it, as the interviewer eventually causes the women to second-guess their original answers. It was fascinating to watch the look on their faces change as the light bulbs began to shine over their heads! Now that was a hoot! You could see the point that they really started thinking about it.

We men in general are dogs!

1842

[Gaillo]

God: I have created Woman for you.
Adam: Why did you make her so beautiful and irresistable?
God: So you could love her.
Adam (2 days later): Why did you make her so STUPID? ???
God: So she could love YOU! ;D

[Libertytree]

Sorry folks but the vid is a load of horseshit, if only for the fact that only college kids were interviewed! Real life ain't about college kids and their libido's and having close male/female friends ain't that odd, at least the older we get. It's also a completely different question if you'd turn it down if it were offered and there are situations where it's just for the best to NOT go there as tempting as it might be. On the other hand...I'm always willing to help a friend out :p ;D

[Glass]

How did he do that? When he asked them if their male friend would make a move on them? If that's it then thats what my conclusion is based on. They know it, thats why they do it, the reason they do it, the purpose they do it because the boy will be led around by his nose on the hopium of scoring.

[solid]

Sorry folks but the vid is a load of horseshit, if only for the fact that only college kids were interviewed! Real life ain't about college kids and their libido's and having close male/female friends ain't that odd, at least the older we get. It's also a completely different question if you'd turn it down if it were offered and there are situations where it's just for the best to NOT go there as tempting as it might be. On the other hand...I'm always willing to help a friend out :p ;D

The older we get the more control we have over our libido. Imo, the best friendship is one with benefits. :)

The truth is the dynamics of friendship between men and women will always be different if either one wants more than just friendship. The friendship will always be stronger if either person is open and honest about that. I also think the term 'friend' is often just tossed around without any true definition. To some people, a friend is someone you'd give a ride to the airport at 2 am, bail them out of jail,etc...and to others, a friend is someone you say hi to in the hallway between classes.

This video would have been better, if the interview nailed down the definition of a friend.

[Cebu_4_2]

difference between friends and acquaintances, been with over 300 acquaintances, only... thinking back, about 1 has been a friend. My current friend, is so different, seems nomatter what I do at the end of the day she still loves me... and I am an asshole. U'll have another beer and crawl back to bed, might change my mind in a bit.

[Shorty Harris]

Pretty much the outcome that I would of expected. Still have to wonder, the fact this took place in the land of Mormon had anything to do with it, Eh, Probably not.

[LastResort]

In my experience men and women can be friends...

Friends with benefits hell no. The women automatically assume your togther as soon as you've done the dirty..

[Spectrism]

Was this before WWI or WWII or do we have to go back to the civil war? :)

No, I think he was flirting with disaster- during the Spanish Inquisition.

[undgrd]

That video was great! I think the only difference between college kids and older adults answering this question is the matter of self control. IMO you gain greater self control with age. You've been around the block a few times and understand the grass isn't always (usually) greener on the other side.


Just remember
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltrg8wGJjE1qc6tq0o1_400.jpg

[hoarder]

What I found significant about the video is the level of denial in women. They thought their men friends were "just friends" because those men had not played "hide the sausage" with them yet, or tried overtly. When asked the second question their denial was shattered.
I think a man who screws a lot of women is one who walks around with a perpetual smile on his face and has a lot of women friends. He only needs to recognise their weak moments and take advantage.
Women need to learn their own vulnerabilities.

[Dogman]

No, I think he was flirting with disaster- during the Spanish Inquisition.Where he really started his gig as it is told, from the musty dusty halls and written tomes of history, is he got his start fighting shoulder to shoulder with EL-Cid. EL-Ponce, was pivotal in the success of driving the moors out of early Spain.

He credits the possession of ass wipes as they evolved up into the day tp was invented, and the tightly clutching of all things silver, .9999 being the preferred holdings. With his lifetime devotion to the proper hygiene of bodily functions and the clutching of silver tightly. He has been heard saying, " Colloidal silver, I need no stinking Colloidal silver!" I use .9999 percent strength! As the secrete of my long life.

Q.E.D !

[SWRichmond]

Wait until you get just a bit older and the guy who was standing on your shoulder constantly shouting in your ear about getting laid quiets down a bit. Life becomes different. One of the few things that make middle age tolerable.

[muffin]

I think the interviewer's question should have been "Can you have a friend of the opposite sex WITHOUT having sexual feelings?" Because that's more of the answers he was looking for and getting. I've had many guy friends that I never slept with. Yes, they probably wanted to sleep with me and vice versa but it didn't happen. We were ONLY friends. What's wrong with that? We're human. We have needs. The thoughts do occur with friends, coworkers, etc.

I've also had a few guy friends that were gay. One of my very good friends was a fellow knitter in L.A. He was so much fun to hang out with. I fully believe he had no sexual feelings towards me and I certainly didn't have them for him. Now, when I brought mouse around, that was a different story ;)

For the record, I married my very best friend :) I don't need any other guy friends in my life....

[Ponce]

You know me and I have said this before.......my ULTIMATE best friend is me........second best friend? Agnut

[Old Herb Lady]

I don't think the masculine and feminine energies can come together in friendship unless each person is selfless and has no expectations from the other.

This day in age it's all about "what can you do for me" mindset. If 2 people want to be in a platonic friendship the mindset has to be the thoughts of what can I do to be this person's friend, how can I uplift them them ? If they don't have sex and remain friends & have no expectations of each other then that is rare.
If they do have sex & continue to be friends that is even more rare.

No two friendships/relationships are the same because people and their situations/issues are so very unique. The only thing the same in all of them is the power struggle that has to be gotten rid of if they want to have a healthy friendship.

People get into toxic friendships and sometimes subsequent toxic relationships based on their selfishness.

( Now to marry your best friend, that is a whole different story. That is like living in a blissed out state of happiness all the time because that person is there for you when you're at your worst, sees you at your worst and endures the sufferings & joys of life with you and still loves you unconditionally even if you're not in a loveable condition. (ever have the stomach flu when you have a sink wrapped around your face and a toilet strapped to your ass with your loved one right there ? )

(It's like that friendship that I described above X 1000. )


Healthy friendships can be a positive energy in a person's life through inspiring the mind, soothing the soul, and awakening the spirit to seeing and believing all the beauty in life instead of all the suffering we have to deal with everyday, everywhere you go.

I am not afraid of love & friendship, I tell people how I feel about them. Life is too short. You could be dead tomorrow. The feeling of losing someone without telling them how you've felt is death in and of itself and haunts you for years.


Just go tell a friend you love them & get over yourself. Get out of your own way. If the friendship doesn't work out, then send a blessing over it & let it go & love them from a distance while you continue to learn your life lessons with or without them ! Yes, I'm old and age will bring you these vintage ramblings !!



Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
And you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love
In the spring
Becomes the rose


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6_s0QIbI94

[JDRock]

Spanish American war.

THAT war is still being fought my friend.... ;)

[Neuro]

No, I think he was flirting with disaster- during the Spanish Inquisition.

I always thought he started it... ;D

[k-os]

Desire is not an action, it's an emotion. Saying that desire for someone means that friendship is not possible, is like saying that wanting to murder someone is the same as actual murder.

If you are attracted to someone and the person is not attracted to you, but you enjoy the person's company, how is this not a friendship? If you both give to each other in acts of friendship (quality time, acts of service, kind words, laughter, etc.), I don't see how it's not friendship. If one person is always giving and the other is always taking - that is not friendship, regardless if there is sex (or the desire for sex) involved. This is what I see as the real problem with asking college students the question. The guys are testosterone fueled and nearly blinded by desire, and the girls have just discovered this form of control, and aren't mature enough to know that it's hurtful to abuse it.

Beautiful, Old Herb Lady! Your words were so wonderful, and that song . . . whew.

[muffin]

Desire is not an action, it's an emotion. Saying that desire for someone means that friendship is not possible, is like saying that wanting to murder someone is the same as actual murder.

If you are attracted to someone and the person is not attracted to you, but you enjoy the person's company, how is this not a friendship? If you both give to each other in acts of friendship (quality time, acts of service, kind words, laughter, etc.), I don't see how it's not friendship. If one person is always giving and the other is always taking - that is not friendship, regardless if there is sex (or the desire for sex) involved. This is what I see as the real problem with asking college students the question. The guys are testosterone fueled and nearly blinded by desire, and the girls have just discovered this form of control, and aren't mature enough to know that it's hurtful to abuse it.

Beautiful, Old Herb Lady! Your words were so wonderful, and that song . . . whew.
This is EXACTLY what I was trying to say....

[Horn]

Desire is not an action, it's an emotion. Saying that desire for someone means that friendship is not possible, is like saying that wanting to murder someone is the same as actual murder.

If you are attracted to someone and the person is not attracted to you, but you enjoy the person's company, how is this not a friendship? If you both give to each other in acts of friendship (quality time, acts of service, kind words, laughter, etc.),

Desire is an action, true friendship doesn't require sacrifice.

In your case it would be the attracted having to murder a part of themselves.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg0tmlpfh04

[solid]

Desire is not an action, it's an emotion. Saying that desire for someone means that friendship is not possible, is like saying that wanting to murder someone is the same as actual murder. .

I agree k-os. It's desire though, that often is the friendship ender. It causes actions to happen. So, if friendships end because of desire, was it a true friendship to begin with?

For example, say I'm friends with 4 gals. I desire them all. 3 just see me as a friend, but the 4th I get involved with. That involvement leads to a relationship and so forth. Now, I naturally want to spend more time with the 4th gal I'm involved with, and that means less time I can spend with the other 3 gals. Eventually, I most likely won't spend any time with any of them.

The reason, being that I would want my focus to be 100% on the gal I'm involved with. Also, since I desired the other gals...it's not fair to the gal I'm in the relationship with to remain friends with any of them.

So, the conclusion is it's very rare a true friendship can be established, IF, there's any desire from either person. If there is, it's a temporary friendship at best. A true friendship lasts a lifetime.

[EE_]

http://i721.photobucket.com/albums/ww217/MaggiegirlEE/friends.gif

[k-os]

I agree k-os. It's desire though, that often is the friendship ender. It causes actions to happen. So, if friendships end because of desire, was it a true friendship to begin with?


In the case you just described, it wasn't the desire that ended the friendship, it was the action.

I have a real friend, who is male. I am very attracted to him. I don't do/say anything about it, because it would be a problem in our friendship. No action, no problem. We've been friends for many years. I don't feel like I am killing a part of myself. I just know it would change the dynamic of our friendship, and I don't want to do that.



For example, say I'm friends with 4 gals. I desire them all. 3 just see me as a friend, but the 4th I get involved with. That involvement leads to a relationship and so forth. Now, I naturally want to spend more time with the 4th gal I'm involved with, and that means less time I can spend with the other 3 gals. Eventually, I most likely won't spend any time with any of them.

The reason, being that I would want my focus to be 100% on the gal I'm involved with. Also, since I desired the other gals...it's not fair to the gal I'm in the relationship with to remain friends with any of them.


The way I see it, most people in that honeymoon period of sexual discovery naturally focus most of their attention on their new lust. Women ignore their female friends, men ignore their male friends. That's natural. It's the most exciting part of the relationship . . . why wouldn't you devote most of your time to it?

If you are tempted by the other 3, while trying to make something real out of #4, then of course, you should avoid the first three. That seems logical to me. Personally, I can't even go on a few dates and entertain thoughts of another. I wish I could, but I can't.



So, the conclusion is it's very rare a true friendship can be established, IF, there's any desire from either person. If there is, it's a temporary friendship at best. A true friendship lasts a lifetime.

I don't think true friendships last a lifetime. I think friends come and go, and sometimes they come back again. Now, I do believe that romantic love could lasts a lifetime, but we're not talking about romantic love here.

Maybe it goes back to defining what friendship is? I have (once) really great friends who I no longer speak to. Does that mean they weren't once really great friends? No. It means that circumstances changed, or she changed, or I changed. Usually, it's because she did one thing that I thought was unacceptable. That doesn't mean she wasn't a great friend at one time.

[Horn]

Emotion = action, hence the name.

[ximmy]

http://pic.epicfail.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/facebook-status-update-win.jpg

[BillBoard]

Once you get older and you have had your share of experiences with women (if you are a male), I would agree that men and women can be just friends. Except that men at that stage will notice that women really do not bring anything to the friendship, unless the woman is on an exceptional mind.

[hoarder]

A woman surrounded by men who are attracted to her whom she considers "just friends" is a charmed woman.
Such men will give her a mile of slack when she is wrong. Such women will be in denial because the checks and balances that exist in relationships that are absent of attraction do not exist.

[solid]

If you are tempted by the other 3, while trying to make something real out of #4, then of course, you should avoid the first three. That seems logical to me. Personally, I can't even go on a few dates and entertain thoughts of another. I wish I could, but I can't. .

See, that's the thing, I know I have full control over my actions regarding desire. If in a devoted relationship, I know I'd never fail and cheat. However, it's still not fair to the person you are devoted to. The attraction is still there.

I have to ask, K, if you were in a relationship, would still remain friends with the fellow that you are attracted to? Do you think it's fair to put your partner in that position?

Personally, if I knew the gal I was with was attracted to another guy, it would bother me. Things 'happen', it's not about lack of trust, but more of a commitment thing. As well, I would expect the same thing of her, from me. No women friends I'm attracted to, period.

[EE_]

A woman surrounded by men who are attracted to her whom she considers "just friends" is a charmed woman.
Such men will give her a mile of slack when she is wrong. Such women will be in denial because the checks and balances that exist in relationships that are absent of attraction do not exist.

Pretty deep there mister! Very well said!

[k-os]

I have to ask, K, if you were in a relationship, would still remain friends with the fellow that you are attracted to? Do you think it's fair to put your partner in that position?


Yes, and I have kept my friendship through other relationships. It is a matter of trust and honor. We may not have gone camping alone when I was in another relationship, but we could (and did) remain friends.

[EE_]

http://i721.photobucket.com/albums/ww217/MaggiegirlEE/horsegirl.gif

[solid]

It is a matter of trust and honor..

It is a matter of trust and honor. K, you are probably in the 1% of women that I believe, have earned that trust.

Not to sound pessimistic, but I think greater than 50% of women in your situation would cheat. That's just my opinion, from life experience.

That being said, everything is temporary. Savor the moment, and enjoy life, with folks in the present time. Say goodbye, when needed, and move on. No attachments.

[k-os]

It is a matter of trust and honor. K, you are probably in the 1% of women that I believe, have earned that trust.

Not to sound pessimistic, but I think greater than 50% of women in your situation would cheat. That's just my opinion, from life experience.

That being said, everything is temporary. Savor the moment, and enjoy life, with folks in the present time. Say goodbye, when needed, and move on. No attachments.

If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat, whether you have them on a tight leash or no leash at all. If you do not trust the person you are with . . . you probably shouldn't be with her.

[solid]

If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat, whether you have them on a tight leash or no leash at all. If you do not trust the person you are with . . . you probably shouldn't be with her.

I agree, that's why guys have signs to tell if a gal would, or wouldn't cheat.

One of those, is having close guy friends they desire.

That's a sign of a possible cheating person.

[zap]

Friends in general, A old man about 85 told me he had a great life , lots of fun and adventures , a wife and kids.

He told me that if you could count your real friends on one hand , you did good in this life.

[muffin]

If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat, whether you have them on a tight leash or no leash at all. If you do not trust the person you are with . . . you probably shouldn't be with her.

OH, good lord, I feel this way! I will NEVER understand why people cheat. If you are THAT unhappy in a relationship, do both of you a favor and end it. It will hurt, but it's for the best. Don't cheat! Nothing good comes of that. I've been hurt so many times. I would have rather them just say "Look, I just don't want to be with you anymore. Have a good life."

Sorry, got a little off topic.

[muffin]

Yeah? The ones that cheated on me were with girls I never even met.

[Dogman]

OH, good lord, I feel this way! I will NEVER understand why people cheat. If you are THAT unhappy in a relationship, do both of you a favor and end it. It will hurt, but it's for the best. Don't cheat! Nothing good comes of that. I've been hurt so many times. I would have rather them just say "Look, I just don't want to be with you anymore. Have a good life."

Sorry, got a little off topic. No you are not off topic, what you said holds a great truth, and for some, should do just as you said.

[solid]

OH, good lord, I feel this way! I will NEVER understand why people cheat. If you are THAT unhappy in a relationship, do both of you a favor and end it. It will hurt, but it's for the best. Don't cheat! Nothing good comes of that. I've been hurt so many times. I would have rather them just say "Look, I just don't want to be with you anymore. Have a good life."

Sorry, got a little off topic.

Muffin, people with honor and integrity, don't cheat. Sadly, folks with those qualities are not appreciated in our society, and for that reason, are invisible.

[EE_]

OH, good lord, I feel this way! I will NEVER understand why people cheat. If you are THAT unhappy in a relationship, do both of you a favor and end it. It will hurt, but it's for the best. Don't cheat! Nothing good comes of that. I've been hurt so many times. I would have rather them just say "Look, I just don't want to be with you anymore. Have a good life."

Sorry, got a little off topic.

Saying adios is a little bit easier for a women in most cases. It is usually very costly for the man.
For many men that are not being satisfied or have fallen out of love...it's cheaper to keep her and have affairs.
Is it always black and white? What about open marriages and swinger couples. Thoughts?

[solid]

Saying adios is a little bit easier for a women in most cases. It is usually very costly for the man.
For many men that are not being satisfied or have fallen out of love...it's cheaper to keep her and have affairs.
Is it always black and white? What about open marriages and swinger couples. Thoughts?

My thoughts? Just don't get married. If she love's ya, she'll stay with you for well, as long as she wants.

Marriage, just creates boundaries, restrictions. Let it all flow free, like a river, and what naturally will happen...it'll flow the right way.

If she flows away from ya, let her go, and know that the river will keep flowing. More gals will come down that river. :)

[Horn]

What about open marriages and swinger couples. Thoughts?

No thanks,

I am open to polygamy though, how many will you be choosing?

[muffin]

My thoughts? Just don't get married. If she love's ya, she'll stay with you for well, as long as she wants.

Marriage, just creates boundaries, restrictions. Let it all flow free, like a river, and what naturally will happen...it'll flow the right way.

If she flows away from ya, let her go, and know that the river will keep flowing. More gals will come down that river. :)
You know, if I knew what I know now, I'd never gotten married. What's the point? So the government can keep tabs on you? I'm happily married tho. He'd really have to screw up for me to go away.

And it can be costly for the woman too. I've seen my mom go through it several times. She has NOTHING due to the very last one. He put her in bankruptcy and they took her house. Now she lives rental to rental with all her "worthless" belongings.

[joboo]

http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/870750/82087678.jpg

[joboo]

http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/477884/82087001.jpg

[Dogman]

http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/477884/82087001.jpg Has to be from the woman's perspective.

[joboo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uwo5HPPqgw

[Shorty Harris]

1860

[Horn]

One of the differences I've noticed is that men have friends that are lifelong that require no sacrifice or special standing,, virtually can do no wrong, they may have grown out of some shared past experience, and most of the time for me just happen. Nothing is in the way or "created" about the friendship.

Women on the other hand have nothing of the sort, as far as I can tell... there is always some "social bind" or otherwise stationed in life that is pre-requisite to.. all though much more real "work" towards individual or shared advancement of each other may go on in between female friendships. The strings are not there forever and will need further re inspection upon renewal.

Men know this as a given from their brethren bested friends and need no further evidence, or sacrifice. Even if they are the worse kind of friends, they are still beholden as a measure to others. And can be picked up where they were left off ages ago with out the least bit of compromise.

The friendship comparisons are basically unequal is what I am saying, and the root is of a sacrificial atonement.


http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/0912/sacrifice-sacrifice-demotivational-poster-1260666571.jpg