The New 2012 Ford

[EE_]

PRESS RELEASE

http://uncontrolledsubstancedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/clitaurus.jpg

The New 2012 Ford

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.

[slowbell]

Also noted, that the engine has a nagging whine, and often will not shut off and keeps running. Men who drive this car have been known to drive it off a cliff and commit suicide.

[Gaillo]

Tire costs for this model are prohibitively expensive... many owners report a garage full of tires of varying colors and styles that are hardly ever used. Also, early reports stated that next year's model is expected to run on a fuel other than chocolate, although this rumor has been flatly denied by the manufacturer. Many owners are reporting great difficulty when trying to "park it in the garage", although almost all owners are very happy with the pleasing curves of the the headlights and fender.

[Glass]

About 20 years ago, a friend of mines' mother was extremely excited to have discovered her clitaurus. Thats exactly how she pronounced it. Big emphasis on the aurus part. Was funny at the time and embarrasing for the young adult kids. You know, parents doing sex and stuff is very gross. Just reading that reminded me.

[joboo]

A friend of mine has one of these cars. The damn radio never shuts off when you want it to.