The surprising truth about what motivates us

[singular_me]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc



http://youtu.be/l7AWnfFRc7g

[Glass]

Is it food? I think it's food. Need of, lack of, none of, all of. Enough of, probably doesn't motivate very well though.

[Neuro]

Both videos have a very interesting format and the first one I wholeheartedly support. The second one I have some issues with, first of all it is contested by many anthropogenists and other researchers if the out of Africa theory is correct, there are many good counter arguments against it. Further I don't think we are hard wired for global empathy, empathy decreases with geographic, ideological and genetic distance, we are primarily wired to take care of our offspring first, other family second, friends third, neighbors 4th, domesticated animals, etc. the further down the line you go the more you have to EDUCATE the empathy, and I think this is what this film try to do...

[Old Herb Lady]

Empathy shouldn't have to be taught. What a shame. Humans are born with it & it just needs to be nurtured, IMO, and if we aren't not born with it, then it should be quickly learned, but either way the empathy just gets lost along the way & so does humility, compassion & benevolence and then what takes over humanity is selfishness, apathy, greed & the world just gets more bitter and more unforgiving & narcissistic to the point where we are now in time.

Jesus had empathy for everybody everywhere he went. ( be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. )

I see less & less of it until there's a big tragedy and then people get all empathetic & sympathetic & then go right back to the way they were
after the dust settles down & life's back to normal . Sick really.




"If you could actually stand in someone else's shoes to hear what they hear, see what they see, and feel what they feel, you would honestly wonder what planet they live on, and be totally blown away by how different their "reality" is from yours. You'd also never, in a million years, be quick to judge again."

http://media-cache-lt0.pinterest.com/upload/36310340715838208_BrUCgfHr_b.jpg

[beefsteak]

Au contraire', OHL Or have you forgotten the birth through 2 year old human developmental phase? LOL

Empathy MUST be taught...putting oneself into another's shoes is not innate...not in a survival of the fittest animal kingdom model.

Love has to be taught, and Empathy is definitely a love practice.

[Old Herb Lady]

Au contraire', OHL Or have you forgotten the birth through 2 year old human developmental phase? LOL

Empathy MUST be taught...putting oneself into another's shoes is not innate...not in a survival of the fittest animal kingdom model.

Love has to be taught, and Empathy is definitely a love practice.

So tell me then,
Did you have to LEARN to love your wife, your children, your grandchildren or did it
just come NATURALLY out of your heart and you nurtured it ?

How do you learn empathy ? It's inside of you and just needs to be acknowlegded and embraced and felt/ applied /nurtured and USED not suppressed .

People choose NOT to have it/nurture it/ apply it, etc. It's still in you.

[Serpo]

Au contraire', OHL Or have you forgotten the birth through 2 year old human developmental phase? LOL

Empathy MUST be taught...putting oneself into another's shoes is not innate...not in a survival of the fittest animal kingdom model.

Love has to be taught, and Empathy is definitely a love practice.

No one taught me to love .......love is

love can be clouded by hate

love is the essence of our earthly experience and beyond

im not talking about love of this or that either Im talking about unconditional love of life itself and us on earth

Beefsteak it took me years of unlearning my conditioning before I experienced this........

[Horn]

The truth is somewhere in between those two.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsLYTOW86bw

[Old Herb Lady]

No one taught me to love .......love is

love can be clouded by hate

love is the essence of our earthly experience and beyond

im not talking about love of this or that either Im talking about unconditional love of life itself and us on earth

Beefsteak it took me years of unlearning my conditioning before I experienced this........


YOU SAID IT !! Once you UNLEARN the hate and unforgiveness and selfishness and get rid of all that junk, then it's just there !! IT ALWAYS WAS ! Thanks SERPS !! Woooooot ! happy dance !!

[Horn]

YOU SAID IT !! Once you UNLEARN the hate and unforgiveness and selfishness and get rid of all that junk, then it's just there !! IT ALWAYS WAS ! Thanks SERPS !! Woooooot ! happy dance !!

The key to realization, is not letting it lead you to glory.

You will be hated then by someone. :)

If not for posting useless junk, then for misspelling, or something else.

[Old Herb Lady]

it's okay horn, I still love the haters too. makes 'em hate me more tho ! LOL !
HA ! Oh we'll, not my problem ! I pray for the haters , too !
Who has time for haters ? My one neighbor hates me with a passion. He hates me !!
I always smile and wave to him ! Woooot !
One time I sneaked a box of zucchini and cucumbers on to his porch,
i know he was wondering wtf ??

[Horn]

it's okay horn, I still love the haters too. makes 'em hate me more tho ! LOL !


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKHA2AGbXtI

[Neuro]

it's okay horn, I still love the haters too. makes 'em hate me more tho ! LOL !
HA ! Oh we'll, not my problem ! I pray for the haters , too !
Who has time for haters ? My one neighbor hates me with a passion. He hates me !!
I always smile and wave to him ! Woooot !
One time I sneaked a box of zucchini and cucumbers on to his porch,
i know he was wondering wtf ??
You should be grateful to the haters, they make you look relatively better.

[Old Herb Lady]

No hide your love away ! Thats crazy ! WRONG VIDEO !



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMj7UcjPZ0U







Put A Little Love In Your Heart

Think of your fellow man
lend him a helping hand
put a little love in your heart.
You see it's getting late
oh please don't hesitate
put a little love in your heart.
And the world will be a better place
and the world will be a better place
for you and me
you just wait and see

Another day goes by
and still the children cry
put a little love in your heart.
If you want the world to know
we won't let hatred grow
put a little love in your heart.
And the world will be a better place
and the world will be a better place
for you and me
you just wait and see

Take a good look around and
if you're lookin' down
put a little love in your heart
I hope when you decide
kindness will be your guide
put a little love in your heart.
And the world will be a better place
and the world will be a better place
for you and me
you just wait and see
put a little love in your heart each and every day
put a little love in your heart there's no other way
put a lttle love in your heart, it's up to you
put a little love in your heart...

[Old Herb Lady]

You should be grateful to the haters, they make you look relatively better.

Hail no I am NOT grateful for ANY haters, ever. They make me SICK and I don't need nor care about what I look like in comparison to a hater,
even tho they are fools !

[Horn]

No hide your love away ! Thats crazy ! WRONG VIDEO !









But if the haters hate more the net effect is then offset, No?

Or, Is our purpose to master our passions?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k3JVfxluFU

[Neuro]

Hail no I am NOT grateful for ANY haters, ever. They make me SICK and I don't need nor care about what I look like in comparison to a hater,
even tho they are fools !
But you love them! Try and have some empathy for them, even if you don't know them!

[undgrd]

Au contraire', OHL Or have you forgotten the birth through 2 year old human developmental phase? LOL

Empathy MUST be taught...putting oneself into another's shoes is not innate...not in a survival of the fittest animal kingdom model.

Love has to be taught, and Empathy is definitely a love practice.

Bingo!

My son had to be taught to ask for toys other children were playing with. His instinct was to just take it.
My son had to be taught to tell the dog "No" rather than take a swing at him when he tired to take a bite of his sandwich.



So tell me then,
Did you have to LEARN to love your wife, your children, your grandchildren or did it
just come NATURALLY out of your heart and you nurtured it ?


I didn't have to learn how to love my wife and child but, none of that comes naturally. Your parents or guardians TEACH you right from wrong. How to love and what it means. The evidence of people not being taught these things is crammed in jail cells across the globe.

[Old Herb Lady]

Bingo!

My son had to be taught to ask for toys other children were playing with. His instinct was to just take it.
My son had to be taught to tell the dog "No" rather than take a swing at him when he tired to take a bite of his sandwich.


I didn't have to learn how to love my wife and child but, none of that comes naturally. Your parents or guardians TEACH you right from wrong. How to love and what it means. The evidence of people not being taught these things is crammed in jail cells across the globe.


That's an oxymoron. Which is it then ??
Yes it is natural. Your confusing teaching thinking skills & behavioral skills with teaching love & empathy.
You guide a child, nurture a child, raise a child to bring out the love & empathy in them.


The idiotic morons crammed in jail cells & prisons have been taught beast-like behavior from day one with NO critical thinking skills and proper behavioral skills whatsoever.

They weren't nurtured and guided to make the connections to the love & empathy in them. That's why their beasts !


Your logical thinking tells you what to do or what NOT to do with your feelings, their feelings are feelings of hate, violence, etc....
So they manifest such. The psychological barrier (like mind control programmed for violence ) makes them UNABLE to connect with who they truly
are. They're conditioned for hate & violence & stupidity ---they weren't nurtured to bring out their goodness----they were nurtured to create havoc, chaos, etc.

Furthermore, kids can be raised to show their love & empathy AND still grow up and make choices with their brain to do very bad things....
It doesn't mean that they don't have the love & empathy in them, it's still in them, too...just lost and needs to be found and applied again.

Narcissists and sociopaths are EVERYWHERE.
They are lost & are now the OPPOSITE of love & empathy. Now they're full of hate & selfishness/greed. Not just the people in prison cells, either.
There's an epidemic of them. Everywhere. They don't care anymore except for themselves.
That's why the world is in the shithole state its in--Lack of empathy !

[undgrd]

That's an oxymoron. Which is it then ??

I was taught how to love before I met them by parents who loved me.



Yes it is natural. Your confusing teaching thinking skills & behavioral skills with teaching love & empathy.
You guide a child, nurture a child, raise a child to bring out the love & empathy in them.

You're using the words "bring out". Are you saying the skill is there and they need to be taught how to use it?



The idiotic morons crammed in jail cells & prisons have been taught beast-like behavior from day one with NO critical thinking skills whatsoever.


They weren't nurtured and guided to make the connections to the love & empathy in them. That's why their beasts !

Exactly. They were never taught to ask for something rather than just take it. They don't have the personal interaction qualities needed to interact without hurting others to get what they want. Without being taught the difference between right and wrong, taking the apple from you is just as good as asking your for it and you giving it to me. It's actually faster to just take it.



Your logical thinking tells you what to do or what NOT to do with your feelings, their feelings are feelings of hate, violence, etc....
So they manifest such. The psychological barrier (like mind control programmed for violence ) makes them UNABLE to connect with who they truly are. They're conditioned for hate & violence & stupidity ---they weren't nurtured to bring out their goodness----they were nurtured to create havoc, chaos, etc.

I think you're making vast, sweeping generalizations. I know MANY people who are NOT violent hate filled people that DO NOT have good command of their emotions.



Furthermore, kids can be raised to show their love & empathy AND still grow up and make choices with their brain to do very bad things....

I agree



It doesn't mean that they don't have the love & empathy in them, it's still in them, too...just lost and needs to be found and applied again.

Yeah...it's called Schadenfreude.



Narcissists and sociopaths are EVERYWHERE.
They are lost & are now the OPPOSITE of love & empathy. Now they're full of hate & selfishness/greed. Not just the people in prison cells, either.
There's an epidemic of them. Everywhere. They don't care anymore except for themselves.
That's why the world is in the shithole state its in--Lack of empathy !


High Five! We agree on this one too!

[Old Herb Lady]

Originally Posted by undgrd


I was taught how to love before I met them by parents who loved me.

They loved you, they nurtured you to bring it out of you (your soul)



I think you're making vast, sweeping generalizations. I know MANY people who are NOT violent hate filled people that DO NOT have good command of their emotions.

I was referring to the prison inmates. (We all have to work to keep our emotions in check, that's why we need good critical & thinking skills.)




You're using the words "bring out". Are you saying the skill is there and they need to be taught how to use it?


Your parents gave you love, showed you their love, your wife & child bring out love from your soul and it grows more & more---it's not taught--
Love begets love. Hate begets hate.

Some people do not ever have a loving parent or guardian, some people never get love or have empathy from their family while growing up.


Sometimes someone else has to bring it out of them, a friend, or later on a spouse, a child, etc.

it's not learned it is a gift given and received.

love begets love.

[undgrd]

Yeah...we're talking in circles again. It must be me because my wife and I also have this merry-go-round conversation style.

--H H--

[singular_me]

thanks guy for your replies - will be back thur online, have little time now. didnt want you to think that I had run away... LOL

[Neuro]

A great nature vs nurture debate above re empathy. I do think it is a bit of both actually. Some people may grow up in families, where everyone, apart from them are normal empathic people, but they turn out to be socio/psycho-paths, others may grow up in a family where they were reared without guidance and love, but still turnout to be a normal love full and empathic person. Of course in both examples both these individuals probably were created like this by nature. But I think these examples really are exceptions, a stable loving upbringing, tend to create stable, loving and empathic people.

Anyway one of the objections I voiced to the OP video, was that it was trying to educate some type of global empathy, the example was send your money to Haiti to help the earthquake victims there, the only problem is if you do that, you will have less resources to be emphatic to people in your vicinity, that may need your help as much as someone in Haiti, who you don't know who he/she is, if the money you send even reaches victims in Haiti, or if the money even does any long term good, or if it does it may help a victim that is a psychopath rapist... IMO it is a waste of good empathy...And the question is who benefits from you sitting in front of the telavizion getting all softhearted to the million of victims that are all around the planet, while you don't have any energy and resources to help those around you?

[TheNocturnalEgyptian]

Food is one of the primate motivators. But once we have plenty of food, what motivates us?

Abraham Maslow wrote a book called "The hierarchy of needs" which outlined the basic emotional and physical needs of human beings.



So once we have enough food, water, shelter, clothing, and love/emotional human contact....what motivates us?


This is the major flaw with society. They leave this part for you to figure out. There are no "missions" in society anymore. There is no great purpose, no great and just war.

We fight, but why do we fight? Not we at the board, but we as a society. Why is everything such a hard struggle just to see the wheels spin and the vehicle moves nowhere?


The country, or the world, needs a mission statement.

[Horn]

I do agree with you Old Lady, you do have all the equipment upon arrival.

But I also agree with the Underground, most of the time I think it is how good parents deal with terrible mistakes they've made raising children then thru early adolescence.

Some souls can be buried for an eternity thru that experience.

[singular_me]

I have to rush up again today, too much work opportunities came up lately and additionally I moved to another property, doing house sitting til end of next summer (2013) but with no internet. shoot... nice solar house though.

when watching those 2 vids, I thought of our hyper-consumerism over the last century and could see why the materialistic pursuit would end up leading us back to square one... just another element that will shatter the banking cartel at some point. Yes many are still blind but they are sooo unhappy with their life styles that I can see a ticking bomb here.

more later - bump

[singular_me]

Is it food? I think it's food. Need of, lack of, none of, all of. Enough of, probably doesn't motivate very well though.

mentioning food is a good point, but humans are not animals as they have a higher awareness level. as I have said many time Darwin is a massive fraud that only serves the money masters. If a system is designed to creates shortages of all kinds, saying that it is food is a little narrowed. The elites are and have been behind almost every famine.

[singular_me]

Both videos have a very interesting format and the first one I wholeheartedly support. The second one I have some issues with, first of all it is contested by many anthropogenists and other researchers if the out of Africa theory is correct, there are many good counter arguments against it. Further I don't think we are hard wired for global empathy, empathy decreases with geographic, ideological and genetic distance, we are primarily wired to take care of our offspring first, other family second, friends third, neighbors 4th, domesticated animals, etc. the further down the line you go the more you have to EDUCATE the empathy, and I think this is what this film try to do...

hard wired for global empathy?

If everybody acts locally, the the global will work out by itself.... we can only help people we interact with directly. Long distance help is a deception...

[singular_me]

I see less & less of it until there's a big tragedy and then people get all empathetic & sympathetic & then go right back to the way they were after the dust settles down & life's back to normal . Sick really.

I agree here OHL... but they act this way because they have no clue as how the system is inimical to their aims (boom times are back)... I have become a firm believer in bartering as much as you can and as a life long practice. :)

[singular_me]

The truth is somewhere in between those two.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooa3fOvtdNc

this video should be working...

... humanity is a body and every human a cell of it. If one neglects a limb that is not working well or a disease, the body cannot operate accordingly

[singular_me]

it's okay horn, I still love the haters too. makes 'em hate me more tho ! LOL !
HA ! Oh we'll, not my problem ! I pray for the haters , too !
Who has time for haters ? My one neighbor hates me with a passion. He hates me !!
I always smile and wave to him ! Woooot !
One time I sneaked a box of zucchini and cucumbers on to his porch,
i know he was wondering wtf ??

you do better than I... I tend to choose indifference/neutral instead of a smile :)

[singular_me]

They're conditioned for hate & violence & stupidity ---they weren't nurtured to bring out their goodness----they were nurtured to create havoc, chaos, etc.!

home schooling, while not a panacea, is the only way for kids to acquire better social awareness. I didnt home school my son but I still regret it bitterly.

[singular_me]

This is the 'Popularity' pop-up for empathy:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy#

Empathy*is currently in the*top 1%*of lookups and is the 38th most popular word on Merriam-Webster.com.

An emerge? A positive trend.

hey keehah, how are ya? ... YOU MADE MY DAY :)

[singular_me]

Food is one of the primate motivators. But once we have plenty of food, what motivates us?

Abraham Maslow wrote a book called "The hierarchy of needs" which outlined the basic emotional and physical needs of human beings.



So once we have enough food, water, shelter, clothing, and love/emotional human contact....what motivates us?


This is the major flaw with society. They leave this part for you to figure out. There are no "missions" in society anymore. There is no great purpose, no great and just war.

We fight, but why do we fight? Not we at the board, but we as a society. Why is everything such a hard struggle just to see the wheels spin and the vehicle moves nowhere?


The country, or the world, needs a mission statement.

arghhh... dont get me started again... I concur.

[Old Herb Lady]

you do better than I... I tend to choose indifference/neutral instead of a smile :)

((( Where have you beeen ??? Are you only going to be here sporadically now ??? )))


No not really. You're just a much more calmer, easy going, more stoic person than me, I'm real hyper like the way Marissa Tomei is in "My cousin Vinny".
Except worse.
To be neutral would be like cutting my tongue out of my mouth. I try to be more like your way, ALL the time, but it NEVER works, ever. I'll keep trying tho.
(ETA: my husband & my best friend are both extremely neutral/stoic people-- very, very good trait to have !)


EMPATHY song
by CHARISSE EGGLESTON


I can see through your eyes
I can feel what you feel
I can taste what's on your tongue
I can hear what you hear

Inside your shoes am I
No pain you feel I can deny
What ever you go through
I'm there behind you

I can hear your cries
If your heart someone steals
You can have my love
You have nothing to fear

Inside your shoes am I
No pain you feel I can deny
What ever you go through
I'm there behind you

Like a best friend
I'm there until the end
Like no other
I'm there forever

Inside your shoes am I
No pain you feel I can deny
What ever you go through
I'm there for you

[singular_me]

((( Where have you beeen ??? Are you only going to be here sporadically now ??? )))

got a golden opportunity, a romantic rustic solar house with full bathroom which we will house sit until may 2013 or longer. about time! but there is no internet... sigh. working also too much doing fall properties/farms clean ups. October will be busy.



No not really. You're just a much more calmer, easy going, more stoic person than me, I'm real hyper like the way Marissa Tomei is in "My cousin Vinny". Except worse.
To be neutral would be like cutting my tongue out of my mouth. I try to be more like your way, ALL the time, but it NEVER works, ever. I'll keep trying tho.
(ETA: my husband & my best friend are both extremely neutral/stoic people-- very, very good trait to have !)
I think when people hate you (without physical threats), the best is to send vibes that doesnt make them feel more threatened or irrated... so a smile or neutrality is okay :) I wouldnt smile too much just in case they'd think one mocks or teases them. LOL

[keehah]

hey keehah, how are ya? ... YOU MADE MY DAY*http://gold-silver.us/forum/images/smilies/smiley.gif

Hey thanks singular me. And thanks for sharing your journey(s).
I'm doing OK; Earthbound.
Although China is buying up land and resources all around with their American dollars. Anything goes for enough dollars motivates Gov or Corp of course. Harper affords war planes.http://gold-silver.us/forum/images/smilies/smiley.gif


Do Mirror Neurons Give Us Empathy?
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/do_mirror_neurons_give_empathy

[Horn]

Afternoon stranger, is your bugzapper working well?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0pwKzTRG5E

"Arrive in Empathy"