Toilet paper and me.........ok, ok, make fun of me......... V

[Ponce]

You see, your see........by doing nothing my tp already made money for me.... my 1,800 of tp, actually about 1,755 by now, are the original size and doing very well.......increase by 2% is bull, more like 14%.
================================================== ====

Yes, you are getting a bum deal! Toilet paper rolls are SHRINKING as firms such as Charmin try and squeeze more profits from smaller sheets

By: malterwitty
Tags: ECONOMY


The size of individual sheets has decreased from the standard 4.5in by 4.5in, and some companies are now selling non-square paper with fractions of an inch knocked off the length and width.

The decrease means companies have made up to a 25 per cent decrease in toilet paper surface area.

However the price for toilet paper rolls has not fallen and in some cases has even increased by 2 per cent.


Read more: whatreallyhappened.com http://whatreallyhappened.com/node#ixzz3Q8MIETCl

[expat4ever]

mullein= natures TP. Plant as much as you can and let it grow wild everywhere. when TSHTF you never know when you'll be out and nature will call. You'll be happy its growing everywhere.

[Cebu_4_2]

mullein= natures TP. Plant as much as you can and let it grow wild everywhere. when TSHTF you never know when you'll be out and nature will call. You'll be happy its growing everywhere.


Mullein has a myriad of uses. Every part of the plant is used at different times in it's life cycle. The thick, soft leaves, are used to treat respiratory illness. They have been shown to loosen congestion and help clear the lungs. The tiny hairs on the leaves can be irritating, and any tea (http://herbgardens.about.com/od/medicinalherbs/p/Chamomile.htm)s should be filtered very carefully to avoid this problem.

Not sure if I want that on my brown eye...

[Jewboo]

You see, your see........by doing nothing my tp already made money for me.... my 1,800 of tp, actually about 1,755 by now, are the original size and doing very well...

https://i.4pcdn.org/pol/1583536714388.png

(http://https://i.4pcdn.org/pol/1583536714388.png)

[osoab]

Ponce is dead.

Long Live Ponce!

[RatHoler]

Women throwing punches over toilet paper in Australian markets .

Plenty of videos on YT you can search including this news report (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1nEnOmC6IQ).

[PatColo]

prolly TMI but my motorhome Chad's poop throne has a deluxe bum-gun, aka ass-blaster, or bidet sprayer,
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=toilet+bidet+sprayer&t=h_&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images

^ which I grew used to, & quite fond of, during my ~5.5y in SE Asia. I haven't used a single square of (RV/marine-grade) TP since 'moving in' to Chad ~3 months ago... nor is any of said TP festering or gumming up my black-water tank.

Typical USA RVer eyes would see the bum gun & just think, oh what a nice idea, U can blast away bowl skidmarks right at the time of the offending event, before they can cure to spackle!

Yes, it's good for that too... but not the principal job I most routinely use it for! Yes my stinkhole is always just-showered-clean, & TP dingo-ball free! :)*#*

[Down1]

Somewhat puzzled why people are stocking this for a Corona episode, but whatever.

[PatColo]

Somewhat puzzled why people are stocking this for a Corona episode, but whatever.

Sky News - Coronavirus: Why are people panic buying and why toilet paper? - https://news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-why-are-people-panic-buying-and-why-toilet-paper-11952397

[keehah]

64 upvotes in the youtube comments today:

Toilet paper and water?
Are you kidding me?
It needs to be beans, rice, and water.
You can't eat toilet paper...

[JohnQPublic]

64 upvotes in the youtube comments today:

Toilet paper and water?
Are you kidding me?
It needs to be beans, rice, and water.
You can't eat toilet paper...

Went to Smart & Final this weekend. No toilet paper, no disinfectant. Rice almost cleaned out. No black beans (a few bags of pinto). Went to Albertson's, only disinfectant cleaned out (did not check for rice or beans, but food looked pretty well stocked).

[Down1]

My Walmart is good except for cleaning and sanitize supplies.

[Silver Rocket Bitches!]

I went to three different stores the past two days. No water, no tp, no disinfectant. Hand sanitizer has been gone for over a week now. Food is starting to look bare and picked through. Glad I have supplies but I feel bad for the unprepared people who waited and are vulnerable.

[Tumbleweed]

You don't need toilet paper. I haven't used it for years at home. I only use it when I have to away from home. :)

[PatColo]

As Toilet Paper Stock Plunges, Bidets Are Making a Splash
(https://www.rollingstone.com/product-recommendations/lifestyle/best-bidets-967000/)
Manufacturers say bidet sales have gone up “ten times” since news of the coronavirus broke


By TIM CHAN (https://www.rollingstone.com/author/tim-chan/)

This article is a part of RS Recommends (https://www.rollingstone.com/t/rs-recommends/), an editorial series reviewing products in music and entertainment. Items are independently selected; Penske Media may earn a commission from purchases made from our links.

As new cases of coronavirus continue to climb (https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/coronavirus-covid19-best-practices-bar-gym-travel-hygiene-966855/), so does the panic apparently, over hoarding household goods and supplies — especially toilet paper. By now, we’ve all seen the photos of empty store shelves and the viral videos of people fighting over the last rolls of bathroom tissue (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVHYTdGUAZM) (bath tissue!). But while staking a line at your nearest Trader Joe’s or placing a bulk order on Amazon (https://amzn.to/2IMZ9PX) is one way to replenish your stock, the best way to combat that toilet paper shortage might be skipping the TP altogether and backing up to the old-school appeal of a bidet.

According to Jason Ojalvo, CEO of the attachable bidet company, TUSHY (https://fave.co/2QfqtKO), sales of the brand’s devices have grown “from double to triple to 10 times” what they were just a few short weeks ago, after fears over the coronavirus caused a toilet paper-buying frenzy. “This could be the tipping point that finally gets Americans to adopt the bidet,” Ojalvo says.

Bidets are common fixtures in many European bathrooms and bougie Japanese versions (https://amzn.to/2TS9KQd) go for hundreds of dollars online, but the washing basin has been slower to be adopted on this side of the oceans. Essentially a large bowl that uses a gentle stream of water to clean out your backside, traditional bidets were separate units that typically sat next to a toilet in the bathroom. These days, a number of companies have introduced clip-in bidets or bidet attachments that are either affixed next to the toilet seat or can be part of the seat itself (the attachments are easily removable too).



The team behind TUSHY says you’ll use “80% less toilet paper” with the addition of a bidet (you still need to pat yourself dry after using, though you can easily swap toilet paper for a hand towel or something similar). And considering Americans use more than 36 billion rolls of toilet paper (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/earth-talks-bidets/) every year — resulting in the loss of 15 million trees — bidets could go a long way toward not only saving our sanity during this toilet paper shortage, but also saving precious natural resources for generations to come.

Aside from easing our reliance on toilet paper, switching to a bidet may also be better for health and hygiene. According to Dr. Alex You, an L.A.-based emergency physician, bidets are more effective than regular TP because they use pressure and water. “If you have dirt on your hands you would want to use water [too] and not just wipe it on a paper towel right?” he asks. “Using toilet paper alone just wipes and smears your poop.”

“Health-wise, using a bidet is also important because many diseases, including things like hepatitis and potentially COVID-19 can be transmitted through fecal oral transmission,” You says. “Also, its just good hygiene.”

According to the team at TUSHY,, wiping with dry paper or wet wipes contributes to “30 million annual cases of hemorrhoids, UTIs, yeast infections, anal fissures and itching.” So, you know: not great.

Frankly, a bidet also just feels damn good around your under-carriage. The stream of water gently caresses your nooks and crannies without being invasive. And it’s a whole lot easier than trying to slide in there with TP alone. In just a few seconds, you’ll have cleaner cheeks and a more refreshed rear end.

If there’s a crack against using a bidet, it’s that the device isn’t super portable. But many companies have introduced travel-sized bidets (https://amzn.to/2U86SO5), that utilize an angled nozzle and squeeze bottle to get the job done. As for the myth that a bidet recycles your toilet water? Consider that fake news.



“‘Isn’t it dirty toilet water you’re spraying your butt with?’ is a myth we often hear,” says Ojalvo. “[but] the bidet uses the same water in your bathroom that you use to brush your teeth — the water comes from the faucet, not the toilet.”

When it comes to personal hygiene, there isn’t a one-swipe-fits-all solution, but as toilet paper shortages continue, expect bidet sales to continue to rise.

“The reality is, once you use a bidet to clean after pooping you cannot go back to wiping and toilet paper,” Ojalvo says. “Wiping seems not just inefficient, but also barbaric, by comparison.”.

https://www.rollingstone.com/product-recommendations/lifestyle/best-bidets-967000/

[Tumbleweed]

I add a little anti-bacterial body wash to the water in my homade bidet and that gets your back porch extra clean. :)

[midnight rambler]

I add a little anti-bacterial body wash to the water in my homade bidet and that gets your back porch extra clean. :)

Check the ingredients, if it has triclosan suggest you find an alternative.

[Tumbleweed]

Check the ingredients, if it has triclosan suggest you find an alternative.

I just checked and it doesn't.

[Jewboo]

You don't need toilet paper. I haven't used it for years at home. I only use it when I have to away from home. :)

The Duke is rolling over in his grave brother Tumbleweed. (https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fe/ce/16/fece16269dad2a6dcb7852af7c7557f8.jpg)

:D

[Tumbleweed]

The Duke is rolling over in his grave brother Tumbleweed. (https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fe/ce/16/fece16269dad2a6dcb7852af7c7557f8.jpg)

:D


There's been times when I've wished I'd had some of that "rough, tough John Wayne toilet paper that don't take no shit off nobody" but I didn't. I've used paper bags, pages ripped out of magazines and catalogues, leaves, grass, sticks and I was in a place once where there was nothing but sandstone rocks and I had to use some of those. One time I pulled off the road and went behind a haystack when I didn't have any paper and I had to take off my boots, cut up my socks and wipe with them. Somebody else had been behind that same haystack before me and they'd had to take off their underwear and wipe with those. :)

[Neuro]

Yep thats Right Joe Bidet came in fashion very quickly

[EE_]

I don't get the bidet thing, all the 'how to use a bidet' articles say you still need toilet paper to wipe dry.
Is there some sexual or toilet play time aspect of using these things? I guess if you want to spend a little extra time douching your bottom for pleasure, by all means, enjoy yourself.
Maybe you guys don't shower regularly?

[EE_]

The Duke is rolling over in his grave brother Tumbleweed. (https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fe/ce/16/fece16269dad2a6dcb7852af7c7557f8.jpg)

:D


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsuH1VpNHU4

[Tumbleweed]

I don't get the bidet thing, all the 'how to use a bidet' articles say you still need toilet paper to wipe dry.
Is there some sexual or toilet play time aspect of using these things? I guess if you want to spend a little extra time douching your bottom for pleasure, by all means, enjoy yourself.
Maybe you guys don't shower regularly?

No you don't need toilet paper. Go to Walmart and buy a bunch of cheap washcloths and when your done washing yourself you dry with the wash cloth and throw it in your washing machine.

[woodman]

I don't get the bidet thing, all the 'how to use a bidet' articles say you still need toilet paper to wipe dry.
Is there some sexual or toilet play time aspect of using these things? I guess if you want to spend a little extra time douching your bottom for pleasure, by all means, enjoy yourself.
Maybe you guys don't shower regularly?
Bidets are a superior method for cleaning your ass. My bidet uses the cold water that feeds the toilet tank. I have a well and let me tell you, there is nothing pleasant about a blast of cold water on your ass. It works good though and you simply dry off with a rag and toss rag in laundry bucket. Warm water would be more comfortable but I am a cheap-ass and don’t give a shit.😂

[osoab]

Bidets are a superior method for cleaning your ass. My bidet uses the cold water that feeds the toilet tank. I have a well and let me tell you, there is nothing pleasant about a blast of cold water on your ass. It works good though and you simply dry off with a rag and toss rag in laundry bucket. Warm water would be more comfortable but I am a cheap-ass and don’t give a shit.

Warm water would be a heck of a wait with my tankless water heater.

[osoab]

Does the size of the ass mater with the bidet thing?

How does this work with a 350lb sheboon or a 400lb bon bon popper?

[woodman]

Does the size of the ass mater with the bidet thing?

How does this work with a 350lb sheboon or a 400lb bon bon popper?
I don't even know how they could use a regular toilet. I would not want to sit on it afterwards. How can they even do a reach around to wipe those things?

[PatColo]

Warm water would be a heck of a wait with my tankless water heater.

yeah I was noticing with those fancier existing-toilet-add-on bidet models, which split/tap your sink's hot water line & run around the bathroom as nec to feed the bidet line -- if you're seeking to avoid a cold water blast on ur brownie, you won't - at least not initially, for as long as it takes for the hot water to reach!! And it's not like U can let it run for a bit waiting for the hot, as with ur sink/shower; bidet nozzle is inside the bowl pointed upward, & if no one's sitting on the throne to catch the blast it'll just spray the room!

And, when the hot H2O does finally reach, it's the pure hot line, not mixed w cold for a 'warm' combo, so it could be overly HOT !! Useless!

So I reco the style used across asia if not elsewhere: a bidet sprayer, which simply splits ur toilet's H2O-feed angle stop, & adds the trigger-sprayer + hose line, with sprayer hanging on a simple little wall holster. Men hold up their junk with their left hand, & reach through w sprayer in right hand, blast away -- after a bit of practice U'll know exactly where to point it before pulling the trigger, for a brownie bullseye, from like 1" away, while also containing all the runoff water to inside the bowl.

The fact that said ass blaster can also be used to aid bowl cleaning, is a bonus!! :)

[Tumbleweed]

My home made bidet is a gallon garden sprayer with a wand and you can take it with you where ever you go. If you want warm water put warm water in it before you use it. You get used to the cold water or at least I have.

Go to a farm supply store and buy one of these sprayers with a plastic wand. The one I have cost about twelve dollars. I turned the cold water on in my sink at home and heated the end of the wand with a heat gun until it was flexible then bent it in to a J shape, held it in that shape and ran cold water over it to cool it in that shape.

Fill it with warm water, pump it up and lean over on the stool, put the curved part of the wand in to the bowl pointed at the target and press the lever on the wand. With practice you'll be able to hit the target pretty easy. A solid stream of water works best and when you get used to using it most of the time there will be nothing but water on the cloth you dry yourself with. You probably wouldn't even need to dry yourself if you didn't want to.

No need to be fighting over toilet paper in grocery stores or wasting money on it.

[Jewboo]

yeah I was noticing with those fancier existing-toilet-add-on bidet models, which split/tap your sink's hot water line & run around the bathroom as nec to feed the bidet line -- if you're seeking to avoid a cold water blast on ur brownie, you won't - at least not initially, for as long as it takes for the hot water to reach!! And it's not like U can let it run for a bit waiting for the hot, as with ur sink/shower; bidet nozzle is inside the bowl pointed upward, & if no one's sitting on the throne to catch the blast it'll just spray the room! And, when the hot H2O does finally reach, it's the pure hot line, not mixed w cold for a 'warm' combo, so it could be overly HOT !! Useless! So I reco the style used across asia if not elsewhere: a bidet sprayer, which simply splits ur toilet's H2O-feed angle stop, & adds the trigger-sprayer + hose line, with sprayer hanging on a simple little wall holster. Men hold up their junk with their left hand, & reach through w sprayer in right hand, blast away -- after a bit of practice U'll know exactly where to point it before pulling the trigger, for a brownie bullseye, from like 1" away, while also containing all the runoff water to inside the bowl.



This is the most embarrassing thread ever posted here at GSUS. (https://i.4pcdn.org/pol/1584206895480.png)

:o

[woodman]

This is the most embarrassing thread ever posted here at GSUS. (https://i.4pcdn.org/pol/1584206895480.png)

:o
There is no embarrassment in having a clean ass.😁

[Jewboo]

There is no embarrassment in having a clean ass.

GSUSers in a couple of weeks... (https://i.4pcdn.org/pol/1584294714194.jpg)

:)

[Tumbleweed]

I don't even know how they could use a regular toilet. I would not want to sit on it afterwards. How can they even do a reach around to wipe those things?



There are tools that are helpful for doing that. After my heart surgery having my chest sawed open and my rib cage pried apart my home made bidet was very helpful. There are tools to help you wipe that come in handy too and I'll post a link to them.


https://getdebestpro.com/best-wiping-aid-for-handicapped-obese-and-aged/

I realize it may be embarrassing or for some people to be uncomfortable talking about things like this but I'm an old country boy and I live pretty close to nature. It doesn't bother me at all. I work around veterinarians both male and female and we're always smeared and splattered with shit when we're preg testing cows or fertility testing bulls. Those things can be embarrassing for people from the city but for country people it's just a part of life.

[woodman]

I was out hiking one day many years ago. Had to take a crap and afterward was looking around for something handy to wipe with. Right next to me were some soft, fuzzy, woolly mullein leaves growing. I thought 'what a perfect ass-wipe.' Wrong. I've never itched so bad in my life. I made it home record quick.

A hunter friend related to me how he had to take a crap in the woods and pulled his hooded suit down and did the deed. The only problem was that he had neglected to move the hood out of the way and in his haste, shit right into his hood. Had to cut it off the suit with his knife.

I am also reminded of the old joke about the bear and rabbit who happened to be crapping next to each other in the woods. The bear looks over at the rabbit and says "Say Mr. Rabbit, do you ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" Rabbit replies "Oh, no My Bear. Never." Mr Bear says "Good!" Grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

[monty]

I was out hiking one day many years ago. Had to take a crap and afterward was looking around for something handy to wipe with. Right next to me were some soft, fuzzy, woolly mullein leaves growing. I thought 'what a perfect ass-wipe.' Wrong. I've never itched so bad in my life. I made it home record quick.

A hunter friend related to me how he had to take a crap in the woods and pulled his hooded suit down and did the deed. The only problem was that he had neglected to move the hood out of the way and in his haste, shit right into his hood. Had to cut it off the suit with his knife.

I am also reminded of the old joke about the bear and rabbit who happened to be crapping next to each other in the woods. The bear looks over at the rabbit and says "Say Mr. Rabbit, do you ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" Rabbit replies "Oh, no My Bear. Never." Mr Bear says "Good!" Grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

Yesterday Jake Morphonios was telling all his followers what great ass wipe the mullein plant was.

Years ago I worked in a Detroit Diesel shop. One of my fellow mechanics, a mexican guy, and another mechanic went out in one of the service trucks to repair a machine. Ernie, the mexican, had to take a crap and didn’t get his coveralls out of the way. When he pulled the coveralls up the shit was all over his back. Shit happens

[Jewboo]

'Do not call 911 just because you ran out of toilet paper', Oregon police say (https://www.fox5ny.com/news/do-not-call-911-just-because-you-ran-out-of-toilet-paper-oregon-police-say)
:D Clown World

[EE_]

Worse case, if you run out of tp. Most bathrooms have a shower near the toilet, just jump in the shower (if you have a shower head on a hose), soap and rinse your bottom and dry with a bath towel.
Hope this helps.

[PatColo]

@ Sofia Smallstorm's blog (https://aboutthesky.com/aboutthesky/smallstorm-blog)


Coronavirus Toilet Paper Run

The coronavirus has caused a toilet paper crisis. So here's something to consider: compressed cellulose tablets -- used by hikers and campers as toilet paper. With a tiny bit of water and some prep time, they become the equivalent of 10 paper napkins: rinse and re-use, machine-washable too! Forget paper towels for the kitchen or going through a box of tissues when you have a cold. Very inexpensive--10 cents each when you buy a bag of 500. Read more here. (https://www.blognox.com/compressed-toilet-paper-tablet/)

49 secs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBvWhhMj_bo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBvWhhMj_bo

[BrewTech]

64 upvotes in the youtube comments today:

Toilet paper and water?
Are you kidding me?
It needs to be beans, rice, and water.
You can't eat toilet paper...


Just so happens that's what I have (BRW). Unfortunately, that's ALL I have, but...

I also have two cans of play-doh. Let the festivities begin!

(they were 50 cents)

[woodman]

Yesterday Jake Morphonios was telling all his followers what great ass wipe the mullein plant was.

s
I must be allergic. They say it is good for lung ailments. It is soft and fuzzy just like a rabbit's ears.

[monty]

I must be allergic. They say it is good for lung ailments. It is soft and fuzzy just like a rabbit's ears.

Based on your experience I belive I'll pass.

[Amanda]

funny thread!!

Anyway, on Mullien--yes, really good for the lungs. Years ago, I felt something coming on in my lungs (worried I was getting pneumonia or something serious), and this stuff took care of it, never went to the doctors.

[BrewTech]

Hey Book! These people may be your neighbors, and it looks like the JSM might just be starting to take conscientious folks seriously.
https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2020-03-13/coronavirus-locations-disaster-supplies-idaho

[osoab]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9iJaN4HKG8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9iJaN4HKG8

[Neuro]

funny thread!!

Anyway, on Mullien--yes, really good for the lungs. Years ago, I felt something coming on in my lungs (worried I was getting pneumonia or something serious), and this stuff took care of it, never went to the doctors.

What did you do with it?

[Amanda]

What did you do with it?

This is the stuff I have:
https://www.iherb.com/pr/Planetary-Herbals-Mullein-Lung-Complex-850-mg-180-Tablets/1577

And I just took them daily, and slowly (maybe 5-7 days), I felt better again (totally normal).

And I think this happened twice to me (maybe over 3 years). I don't know what it was (what was wrong with my lungs), and didn't go to the doctor, but it scared me b/c it definitely did NOT feel right (every time I breathed in, it felt very weird).

[PatColo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9iJaN4HKG8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9iJaN4HKG8

someone enlighten me: I didn't get the gag at the end, where he's somehow boobytrapping his bog roll? Was that some kind of raw meat, or bread... I couldn't make it out?!