Shami-Amourae
7th October 2015, 04:28 PM
http://www.p4rgaming.com/japans-health-ministry-fears-summer-lesson-will-destroy-population-begs-sony-not-to-release-game/
Japan’s Health Ministry Fears Summer Lesson Will Destroy Population, Begs Sony Not to Release Game Announced at Sony’s Tokyo Game Show press conference, Summer Lesson (http://www.siliconera.com/2014/09/01/tekken-team-working-ps4-project-morpheus-game-summer-lesson/) is a virtual reality game where it appears you will tutor a Japanese schoolgirl using Project Morpheus. If this is released, public officials fear Japan’s population will hit zero before 2100.
http://www.p4rgaming.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/howtoaskforthisatgamestop.jpg (http://www.p4rgaming.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/howtoaskforthisatgamestop.jpg)
The Japanese Health Ministry has warned for years of the imminent threat against Japan’s declining population. With women refusing to get married and men who are content dying alone, Summer Lesson appears to solidify both positions. Women will refuse to marry a man who plays Summer Lesson and men will not care because they have Summer Lesson.
“There is no turning back if this game is released,” explained population scientist Akita Osamu, “Japan’s population is already under attack and Summer Lesson will be the finishing blow. It is already affecting Japan as we speak. I am currently single and I have already pre-ordered this game earlier today. I will die alone and that is perfectly fine with me and Nahoko which is the name of the girl I have chosen for Summer Lesson.”
Even Japan’s prime minister Shinzo Abe personally went out of his way to beg Sony CEO Kazuo Hirai to prevent the release of this game. Unfortunately, Hirai said that it was out of his hands arguing that Japan would eventually fall victim to a game like Summer Lesson and believed it would be most honorable if Japan did it to themselves rather than having a game from the American Oculus Rift do it.
“We need this,” said Sony Worldwide Studios president Shuhei Yoshida, “We have already abandoned Japan so it does not really affect us if Japan just goes away completely. To the PlayStation 4, it is like Japan does not even exist. After Summer Lesson has done its job, Sony can finally become the western company it deserves to be.”
Created by the Tekken team, Summer Lesson is by far the most popular game at the Tokyo Game Show with people spending over six hours in line just to try the demo. Tekken producer Katsuhiro Harada is thrilled to finally work on a game with real consequences.
“I will go down in the history books as one of Japan’s most influential people,” stated Harada, “I originally wanted Tekken to be more like Summer Lesson but without virtual reality, people were unable to view Nina the same way I did. Now people will know me as the person who single-handedly controlled all of Japan’s men. After all, it is either this or Tekken X Street Fighter and I would much rather destroy Japan than work on Tekken X Street Fighter.”
Microsoft and Nintendo have both responded to this news similarly. Microsoft is relieved that they no longer have to try to sell the Xbox One in Japan and Nintendo is relieved that they will soon no longer exist and will not have to worry about the Wii U.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIl2-5f8NTo
Japan’s Health Ministry Fears Summer Lesson Will Destroy Population, Begs Sony Not to Release Game Announced at Sony’s Tokyo Game Show press conference, Summer Lesson (http://www.siliconera.com/2014/09/01/tekken-team-working-ps4-project-morpheus-game-summer-lesson/) is a virtual reality game where it appears you will tutor a Japanese schoolgirl using Project Morpheus. If this is released, public officials fear Japan’s population will hit zero before 2100.
http://www.p4rgaming.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/howtoaskforthisatgamestop.jpg (http://www.p4rgaming.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/howtoaskforthisatgamestop.jpg)
The Japanese Health Ministry has warned for years of the imminent threat against Japan’s declining population. With women refusing to get married and men who are content dying alone, Summer Lesson appears to solidify both positions. Women will refuse to marry a man who plays Summer Lesson and men will not care because they have Summer Lesson.
“There is no turning back if this game is released,” explained population scientist Akita Osamu, “Japan’s population is already under attack and Summer Lesson will be the finishing blow. It is already affecting Japan as we speak. I am currently single and I have already pre-ordered this game earlier today. I will die alone and that is perfectly fine with me and Nahoko which is the name of the girl I have chosen for Summer Lesson.”
Even Japan’s prime minister Shinzo Abe personally went out of his way to beg Sony CEO Kazuo Hirai to prevent the release of this game. Unfortunately, Hirai said that it was out of his hands arguing that Japan would eventually fall victim to a game like Summer Lesson and believed it would be most honorable if Japan did it to themselves rather than having a game from the American Oculus Rift do it.
“We need this,” said Sony Worldwide Studios president Shuhei Yoshida, “We have already abandoned Japan so it does not really affect us if Japan just goes away completely. To the PlayStation 4, it is like Japan does not even exist. After Summer Lesson has done its job, Sony can finally become the western company it deserves to be.”
Created by the Tekken team, Summer Lesson is by far the most popular game at the Tokyo Game Show with people spending over six hours in line just to try the demo. Tekken producer Katsuhiro Harada is thrilled to finally work on a game with real consequences.
“I will go down in the history books as one of Japan’s most influential people,” stated Harada, “I originally wanted Tekken to be more like Summer Lesson but without virtual reality, people were unable to view Nina the same way I did. Now people will know me as the person who single-handedly controlled all of Japan’s men. After all, it is either this or Tekken X Street Fighter and I would much rather destroy Japan than work on Tekken X Street Fighter.”
Microsoft and Nintendo have both responded to this news similarly. Microsoft is relieved that they no longer have to try to sell the Xbox One in Japan and Nintendo is relieved that they will soon no longer exist and will not have to worry about the Wii U.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIl2-5f8NTo