If alone or in a group with a lawyer, politician, judge or cop keep your mouth closed and smile often.

When they ask for your understanding nod rapidly but cross both index and middle fingers.

When asked to step forward or raise your right hand feign a heart attack. Practice this right now.

Sometimes your signature is needed. I recommend R. vi Et Armis. R is the abbreviation in the dictionary for Rex (the king). Vi Et Armis is Latin for 'under FORCE and ARMS