Quote Originally Posted by Tumbleweed View Post
I approve of your comment and it hits the mark perfectly!!

No reason for any apologies.


Something that has come to my attention lately is the 'tone' of what is said is often more important than the actual content. This has been happening with my daughters and granddaughters. I notice that when I am irritated (and quite justly so) I will try to get my ideas accross to them to make them understand my issues. They will completely shut down and become very upset and claim that I am out of line and 'yelling' at them. At this point they refuse to listen any longer and the conversation ends. I certainly don't yell at them and I believe I am talking very reasonable and calmly. I suppose there is an undertone to my speech that is somehow threatening to them. I believe some part of their ego is being rubbed wrong and they simply can't handle it. So it would seem that if a person says something in the right manner, they could tell someone to eat shit and the person would go away with a shit eating grin. Not so much what you say as how you say it.

I have never been much for manipulating people and I simply aim to get my message across. At this point I am trying to be 'kinder and gentler' in bringing my points across.

I wonder if you could call someone a nigger in a very respectful way and it would not be hurtful to them? However, the whole point of calling someone a nigger is to disrespect them. I think perhaps if one has enough innate respect for their self, they would easily shed such a comment.